"You're a horrible actress, Shae. That's why you're a psychology major."
Alrighty, 3:45 am and my first drunken entry EVER ensues!
My hands are fucking numb. So is my face and the rest of my body. Except my eyes. My eyes are burny!
I have a test tomorrow. Surprised?
I'm thinking about asking for a makeup.
3:47.
I could fall asleep right here, right now.
What did I ever do to deserve such splendid friends?
You know who you are. Thank yourselves for me as I will probably never be quite this appreciative sober.
My favorite song of late:
Come Away - Ani Fucking Difranco
next to the glass ashtray
in a little plastic baggy
is a bitter rock remedy
really good stuff
but i take offense to the fact
that you're so hell bent
you try to tell me this world
just isn't beautiful enough?
do you wanna get off
is this your stop
do you gotta have a triple decker super fudge sundae
with a goddam cherry on top
i mean, what makes you so lavish that you can afford
to spend ever sober moment feeling angry and bored
why won't you come
come away from
come away from it
why
why won't you come
come away from
we used to hold hands down
those unfamiliar streets
you used to take me diving
into the watery blue deep
but now you're trying to find every tiny treasure
every shiny penny of pleasure
satisfy every selfish purpose
before you swim back up to the surface
why won't you come
come away from
come away from it
why won't you come
come away from
come away from it
why
and you think that i just don't like it anymore
but i'll tell you what i don't like
i don't like that i have to put the training wheels back on your bike
and i don't like the extravagance
or the way you taste when i kiss you
i don't like being left alone
baby don't you think i miss you
why won't you come
come away from
come away from it
why
come away from
come away from it
why won't you come
come away from
come away from it
*end transmisison*
There's mumbling coming from the other room.
I don't want to go to bed. Ever. I don't want to miss anything. Ever. Good or bad. I want to revel in it all. I want to find all these keys, drunk or sober. I want everything to absorb in my head. I want everything to express itself the best way possible in my head. I just want... everything all at once. Overwhelmingly. So I don't know how to make sense of it all. So I don't even want to try. Anymore. So I don't even want to fucking try.
It's all so much better than nothing.
I'm gonna find my drunken slumber.
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
Shae!