I say "fuck" too much.

I'm hungry, I'm tired, my eyes burn, and I want to know why the FUCK everyFUCKINGthing on campus (including our fine food establishments) closes at 5pm on Friday and doesn't even THINK about opening until Sunday?

Fucking suitcase colleges.

Called concerning my laptop and it seems thus far that Dell was right about one thing (in other news, Satan has learned to ice skate). Seems I'm going to be out a bountiful amount of taxpayer's hard earned cash to replace the motherboard, though the exact figure won't be known until I am contacted Monday. Woo fucking hoo.

Our fine administrative establishment hosted ANT (from the Last Comic Standing and Celebrity Fit Club fame) last night to perform at TAG (Thursday Alternate Getaway.. because people generally get smashed on Thursdays here). FUCKING HILARIOUS. I swear to god. I'm happy that the backwards redneck republicans that seemed to have proliferated the audience ("What year are you?" "Senior." "What's your major?" "Forensic science." "Oh, really? What do you plan to do when you graduate?" "...I dunno..." *DOH!*) generally appeared to accept him (and his gay antics) openly. He seemed to feel right at home, though, and quickly proclaimed us (as an audience) as "great" and deems to "mention us" on his upcoming guest spot on the Tonight show (or some other show like that, my ADD wouldn't let me remember). My thoughts? "Great. Kentucky now moves down another notch because of the people who chose to sit in the front row." Oh, well. Maybe it won't be too bad?

He is also a tiny, tiny man. I felt like the Jolly Green Giant next to him. Then again, he was leaning on the table. *shrug*

Then, I hasd pizza and a coke which, by the way, is CAFFEINATED. 5am? Shae's still wide awake and her mind racing. Back to the time when she told her mom she was an atheist. Well, her aunt asked her if she was and she said yes and... what the hell, why get technical? Well, her argument was, "Shae, I knew you were lost, but I didn't know you were THAT lost. You were dedicated to God as a baby!" "...Wow, now that was unfair. Especially coming from the woman who wouldn't let me get my ears pierced until i was in SIXTH GRADE because you wanted it to be 'my choice.'" Then, I realized I probably have a bronze plaque on my ass somewhere making it official. "..Shit.."

The joy of dysfunctional pentacostal family life. I swear, the last time I went to church with my mamaw, the preacher was speaking in tongues. "*saunters vaguely out back door*"

At least it wasn't like the last church we went to. I remember a time when you had to walk in front of the pulpit just to go take a piss. All eyes on you, everyone knew your business.

Now my grandmother has a different church lined up for every night of the week. The last time she went to McDonald's for breakfast with my mom and aunts, she made them turn around to get a packet of salt the disgruntled drive thru worker had forgotten. Her reasoning behind this? She saw a preacher once that quoted the Bible as saying, "What is an egg without salt?" My mom replied, "...Bland."

Now, there's faith and fanaticism and a fine line in between and dear ol' mamaw was done toeing that line long ago.

Bah. I'm sleepy and hungry and have no immediate choice of nourishment (since my choices are limited). Starving to death for the day is quite within reach right now due to my high levels of lazy and low levels of giving a shit.