Obituary

RIP Jacques. I knew thee well.

Death came to him in the night in his normal travel cloak of Glad tupperwear, which was resting in the side of a clothes basket in the car on a particularly cold night.

More proof of the theory that my mom giveth pets, and by god, she can taketh them away.

Thanks mom.

Idiosyncratic

So, I go into the dermatologist (I'm too OLD for this shit!) and, at the end, they were to take pictures. I was talking to my mom, not minding anyone at all, and the nurse girl, a stuck-up previous small town prom queen, smacked a fucking sticker on my head. I subconsciously raised in eyebrow and glared and almost couldn't stop laughing long enough for her to take the picture. Oh, the little things that make me laugh incessantly.

"Make sure your face is dry before you put this on it. It won't burn as badly." *raises eyebrow again* And this is supposed to make me feel MORE comforted? "Make sure your face is dry otherwise it will spontaneously burst into flames on your bare skin! WOO!"

I GOT PANTS!

Now my laptop is dying. Perhaps more later.

"I was locked into being my mother's daughter."

YAY! Doctor's appointment tomorrow at 9:30am.

YAY! I need to buy contacts.

YAY! I need to cancel my trip because I'm a fucking poor chick.

Life has been fairly uneventful. Okay, it HAS been eventful for everyone but me and my lack of caring for the family unit drama (which is pretty damn bountiful). I've immersed myself in "Wicked" which has turned out to be a worthwhile read. I find that I identify with Elphaba more than any other book character I have ever read, not only for her views on religion, politics, and her psuedo-refusal to participate in either, but also for her inability to keep her mouth shut at integral times, her passion for the things she believes in, and her utter flagrant stubbornness. (That and I'm green. ;)) A few of the other characters also remind me of some people I know. Read the book. Those about whom I am speaking will indubitably understand.

I think I'm just an overly angry girl.

Not without cause.

It has its pros and cons.

"You can call me crazy, but I think you're as lazy as white paint on a wall."

6:02am this time.

SHIT! I forgot to write my letter to the Dean.

I did, however, finish my Ani project.

...And a fucking LONG poem in my diary. I'm not satisfied with it. Per usual.

Explifies my priorities quite wonderfully, doesn't it?

I want to sleep in a fucking bed, goddammit. In a quiet house. All day.

"I'm no heroine."

4am.

I just spent MANY hours in an endeavor to get all of Ani's studio cut albums. This is a tedious, trying task.

I found a Zelda: Link to the Past skin for winamp!!! This made me extremely happy.

"Wicked" lay untouched beside the couch.

Glad to know where my break time is going! ;)

Christmas was rather uneventful for my family. Usually one (or three) of the men are drunk and looking for a few words or something. This year seemed to have gone by without a hitch. Then again, I was squirreled away in the living room with my laptop and Ani.

I know they think I'm antisocial. Ok, so maybe I am at times. Especially when the choice is between being antisocial and sticking out people whom I'd like to stab in the face a few times. It's not worth the palpitations.

Tomorrow, I'll do something productive.

Merry Overcommercialized Jew Celebratory Day!

Did Santa not hear my plea for a mercy killing?

My position with the university is in jeopardy. I don't want to go to NY anymore (I don't really have the monies and I don't want to go if I'm on academic dismissal). There are 8 children with new toys that make interesting sounds (xbox, karaoke (completely with a COUNTRY KARAOKE DISC! "..SHIT!.."), suction cup guns, etc.) in this house. I went to bed at 7am, they woke me up to WATCH presents being opened at 10. I didn't even fucking put my contacts in. I can't see what they opened. I found myself asking, "Why the FUCK am I awake again?" more than once. Getting sick. Again. I think its the cigarette smoke. And claustrophobic. There isn't a single room in this house that doesn't have people in it. It's positively MADDENING.

Biding my time until dinner, man. Biding my time til dinner. Then I'mma sleep like a mad bitch. Or perhaps write my appeal for school. ...sheesh...

Home, home on the range! *dances*

If my motherfucking goddamned network card doesn't start working properly, I'm going to rip it out and throw it in the creek. Period. The words "A network cable is unplugged." are now stricken from my vocabulary and shall be until further notice. I don't know where I'm going to get the monies for another one. I just don't know.

Minkster sent me The Tao of Pooh!!! (THANKS MUCH, BABE!) I haven't finished Wicked yet, but I want to start Tao of Pooh.

In all actuality, I haven't even started Wicked. I spent a few nights reading on In the Belly of the Beast, which is WONDERFULLY written by a man with a 6th grade education who spent the majority of his life in jails or prisons of some sort, and Pledged: The Secret Life of Sororities. And does this inside look on sorority sisterhood change my very bleak outlook on the cliquishness and supposed superiority/prissiness issues thereof? Hell no. It has worsened my opinion with tales of rapes, drugs, and even the stereotyping of themselves BY themselves. How can I respect that? They and their sisters know about their peers' rapes, drug addictions, and eating disorders, and do they help them? No. They CONDONE them. They're too afraid of hurting their images with having chubby sisters, or with the fraternities and fraternity brothers who rape them, or with sisters who don't party hardy with Bacardi. What little respect I had for them? Defenestrated.

I also bought Failure to Zigzag from the bargain shelves of Hastings, as well as When Will Jesus Bring the Porkchops?. I also brought along one of my favorite authors, Chuck Palahniuk's Lullaby, which I'm also excited about reading. So much reading material for me to surmount this break, but I figure I can do it considering I ceased to be able to work for the break. I've already read the first chapter in the more obscure Failure to Zigzag and I must say the only thing it has failed to do thus far is impress. Some funny points (which is why I bought it), but I guess I shall give it more of a chance.

I'm so fucking stressed out. I thought this was supposed to have ended with the finals, but no. Now my English teacher wants to fail me (penalty of which, Academic Dismissal for one semester). I can appeal if she chooses to continue with her claims that I didn't turn in my final paper (when in all actuality, I turned it in Thursday when I had arranged it with her). There wasn't exactly one huge thing that contributed to my suck performance in TWO classes. I couldn't afford a graphic calculator and it took the school too long to get me my residual, so I just said "fuck it". English prof is just an English/attendance Nazi. The rest of the grades were A, A, and C. C being the health that one had the impossibility of passing with an A unless you read the fucking material front to back, word for word. I'm leaving my options open for if I don't get to go back next fucking semester. I'll be thoroughly pissed. "For serious."

I don't know what it is about me and electronic devices. In a year or so, I managed to break an lcd screen ($422.92), a graphing calc ($120), a digital camera ($250), two box fans (not "electronic," but electric none the less), and now my network card. Plus my books I had to charge to my credit card. This leaves me with two maxed credit cards, a cell phone payment, a prospective New York trip (which I've decided on and off to go/not to go for the last... month), and the damn incessant unemployment. If I am FORCED to stick around, I guess I can stand to live with mamaw, work the gas station, pay off my credit cards, and work on getting a car.

Ahhh, responsibility. The bane of my existence.

"Hello. I'm neurotic."

Didn't turn in my research paper when I should have.

Pulled an all-nighter and turned it in at 8pm last night.

Think either my networking card is going the way of Billy Fischer (to Japan). No, seriously. The connection drops off the face of the earth sporadically. This, my friends, is a humongoid pain in the arse. I thought the internet at school was fucking up because of perhaps too many people online trying to finish finals. But no. Now I'm in Morehead, different cable, different internet, same problems.

*ROFL* Daniel just got a pop-up. "Are you happy Bush won?" He just stared at it blankly while I laughed incessantly.

So finals are over, I'm here for a little while, then I have to spend the rest of the next couple of weeks at home. This is going to be pain to the nth degree. I think I may actually stay with my grandmother. I can't take all the noise and crazy anymore. Not. Anymore.

Download Pretty Girls Make Graves - "This is Our Emergency" or "Something Bigger, Something Brighter." Brandi (HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY, BABY!) found them eons ago and I had completely forgotten about their existence. *two thumbs up*

I'm tired. It's 6:10 am and I have deviantart.com to update.

ta!

Oi, finals should be over!

One more day, one more paper, one more revision, one more class for the semester.

I forgot to get my secret sis a present, so I wrote her a poem:


Once upon a midnight dreary,
I was typing, weak and weary,
Upon my laptop I did sleep,
Though thoughts of finals still did creep.

About the campus, I did scurry,
All next day, quite in a hurry,
Procrastination, thief of time,
Indeed has spent a spree of crime.

Spanish, English, Modern Dance,
Have kept me quite in a trance.
Health was the worst of all,
“Oh, telecourses are a ball!!!”

Hanukah, Christmas, and New Year,
I can’t recall ev’rything, I fear.
“How dare you forget my birthday, missy?!”
All these things rolled in a tizzy!

In the end, I had forgotten,
To go secret sis gift a-shoppin',
When I remembered it was cold as f**k,
I said, “What the hell, here's five bucks!”

So, I hope you find at this time,
The extra cash you don’t mind,
For the time of Christmas indeed is nigh,
And you can end the semester with, “WOOHOO! Five bucks!”

(And hopefully a few good grades.)


...and gave her five bucks.

You Are Fall! Thoughtful Expressive Creative Poetic Smart What Season Are You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

WOO! Soon I'll be in Morehead and I can take pictures and do nothing and eat food and... everything I do here, I guess. *L* But Daniel, Stephanie, AND Amanda will be there! :XD

"There's really no hope for me and that 3 second rule..."

Fuck off to:

• 9:30am fire alarms when one is counting on the only full-night's sleep in a week, at 23F ("feels like: 12"), on the 8th floor due to flaming poptarts. Yes. Flaming poptarts.


• One word: leotards.


• Having no time to shower.


• The spaghetti in "Home Zone".


• School networks that disconnect themselves every 10 minutes.


• Completely full charter busses.


• MIA honors program directors.


• Secret sister gifts.


• Losing one contact in your last pair with only a pair of glasses with one handle as backup. Good thing I found an old pair of contacts. ;)
  
• The past preterite tense of "tener".


• New York.


• Not being able to feel your ass cheeks.


• Secrets.


• Being "lazy as white paint on a wall."


• Bad skin.


• Cluttered dorm rooms. *falls over* "I'm okay!"


• Broken heaters.

YAY! to:

• Crawling back into bed under two blankets and neglecting the research paper that's due tomorrow night.

G'NITE! :XD

"Survivors are part turtle, we are part potato bug..."

Listen to Ani - Lagtime now. I know I mentioned her newest songs last entry, but I can't stress this enough.

Taking a quite well-deserved (in my own opinion) study break from Spanish. I have a chapter to go which I hope to finish by at least 4am. Back up at 11am for breakfast, a quick going over of what I'm not sure about, then off I to fail the exam 1pm.

I have one more final out of the way. My dance final went off seemingly without a hitch. We danced. People clapped. Teacher asked us questions that she didn't ask other groups. Hopefully this is a good sign.

I also have her permission to go ahead with PHE450 (Advanced Technique and Production). She made it a point to mention that I have to come to class. *straightens her halo* As it's looking, though, I won't have time as my schedule is already completely full with my bountiful 13 hours of classes. Yeah, I'm on academic probation, want to make something of it?

I canNOT forget to buy my secret sister a gift tomorrow, to talk to Dr. Gray (I wish her first name was Gene!!!) about bus changes, swing by my English teacher's office and get my outline, sell my Spanish book, and to take my book back to the library. Perhaps I'll get up early and do all that first. Damn, tomorrow's going to be nonstop. Study, English research paper, odds and ends.

Then the day after? ATTEMPTING to get my English teacher to look over my research paper, revising Essay 2, and finally going to my English final at 6pm. How come all of my finals are at night this year, when it CONVENIENTLY decides to be colder than a proverbial welldigger's ass?

Then, the day after... WAIT! I'm finished after the English final! :XD I get to pack, do some laundry, and clean out the room!!! *is moving after Christmas break* Hot damn, to be on campus will be a dream! I am NOT living in this forsaken dorm again.

Kristin wants to get an apartment over summer. Let's just say I am NOT looking forward to staying home during 2 weeks of Christmas Break, let alone 3 months of summer. But, alas. No car, no job. No job, no apartment. So. First thing's first. "Mamaw, you're blind and papaw can only drive one car, so hows about you let me borrow one of your four?" Stylin' and profilin' in an '83 Buick Regal (?). I'll be the shit, man.

Yeah, so I outlined the rest of my week for you and you more than likely don't care. Well, I'll consider it more for my benefit because I'm not writing this down. *flying by seat of pants*

And now, back to Spanish!

"cuz i looked up to see integrity finally won over desire.."

Humble thyself before the true God...ess... Okay, while that MAY be a bit of an overexaggeration, she IS pretty goddamned great. Listen to "manhole" on that page or I shall never speak to you again.

"and maybe it was i who betrayed his majesty
with no opposite reality
like a puddle with no reflection
of the sky or the trees
but after my dreaded beheading
i tied that sucker back on with a string
and i guess i'm pretty different now
considering"

Biding my time for the end of the semester.

Old English Teacher on AIM: I talked to your english professor. you missed a revision day. she seems lame.
And I Said: hahaha.. did she hunt you out?
OET: No. we were at the christmas party. it was also lame.
AIS: yeah, I missed a revision day.. to tell you the truth, I was sick, tired, stressed to the max, and didn't feel bothered to go.. did she seem pissed?
OET: yeah. She did. she says you don't apply yourself?
AIS: ..I don't apply myself? to what? I got a B on the last essay, and an A on the one before?

WHAT THE FUCK DO PEOPLE WANT FROM ME?!

What if, by any off chance, the work that I turn in is, in fact, my best work? I am NOT a prolific, intriguing writer, nor do I aspire to be. Maybe I stumble upon some terrific ideas every once in a while, but they are fairly few and far between. Give it a fucking rest.

I guess most people usually think I'm a complete dumbass or extremely intelligent, neglecting the fact that I am not particularly either.

Oh, well.

To sleep I must go!

"Just call me... shameless."

So, I walk out of my dorm room last night to a pretty interesting sight. There were about six people standing around, gawking and laughing at a girl that was flopping around on the floor, too drunk to keep hold of the ground. "Great. It's my birthday and YOU'RE drunk." I wanted to say, but in my true misanthropic nature, I smiled meekly and step over her slightly convulsing body.

So, my friend DID come! *yay* He brought me a gir toy. He kept the squirrel (damn him), but the rest he gave to me! *dance*

I woke up this morning with my keys and ID in my bed. "..Did I.. go somewhere last night?" This state of exhaustion, one can never tell. And I even skipped taking my Spanish test and practicing my dance final! (*alarm goes off* "Argh, fuck 'em!" *resets said alarm*)

I have to work on that whole... apathy thing I have going on there.

I had quite a series of little fucked up dreams, too. *LOL*

I called the gas station that I worked at last summer. I had my hopes up to be able to work for a couple of weeks over Christmas break. No such luck to be had. Looks like I'm going to be mooching off the family for spending monies in New York. And hope I can put off buying books until I get my residual check in January.

Garden Ridge is supposed to send me my last paycheck. Alicia hasn't really spoken to me since I quit (she "got" me the job). Pity. I really liked her. And that's hard for me to come by most of the time. ;)

Amelia is sending me a metric fuck ton of stuffs for my birthday! This is very bittersweet. I love getting surprise presents, but I can't get her much of anything for hers in January. This is what I hate about people giving me presents. I can't reciprocate it because I am a very very poor girl.

Shower time! My friend and I are supposed to go to the comic book store! The owner can never remember my name, but that's okay because I can never remember his. I think its Brian? Meh. He saw me prancing about in his store one time and has since wanted to go on a nationwide dance tour with me. *L* And I'd be ok with that.

Public Service Announcement

Happy birthday to ME! Happy birthday to ME! Happy birthday to MEEEEEE! I'm this many! *holds up both hands and feet*

My ADHD inflicted entry depicting my boring day.

My betta fish Jacques. Pay no attention to the reflection of me in the glass. You can't tell anything by it anyway. ;)

OK! Now that I have THAT taken care of (the "my info is missing" glitch), today was a waste of my time.

Spanish class, if I get a 90% or more on my final, that's the grade he's going to use for the grade for the whole semester. So the fact that I missed one test, didn't turn in the compositions, and wasn't there half the time will mean NOTHING. (I wasted my entire semester on this class? According to what we've covered, I could have passed it at the beginning of the semester. Great.) This leaves me to wonder if getting up early to take the quiz I had missed while coughing up my innards is a waste?

Found the lists for the trip to New York. The people I know are listed in completely different rooms and completely different buses which leaves me to wonder if the trip is worth all this trouble (and money)? (I came REAL close to typing monkey.) I think I'm just going to skip out on it (*whines*) and work an extra week. In the immortal words of a buddy, "le sigh."

Dance class, I have to meet with my group to go over the changes we made to the dance we have to perform for our final. I hate it. With the fire of a thousand suns.

I stopped by Housing to try to make an appointment to try to get into the honors dorm. Which is smack dab in the middle of campus (which is a nice change from the one I live in, which is smack dab in the middle of bum fucked Egypt). I stopped only to be told that I have to wait until January 10th when room changes begin (eventhough the woman on the phone told me I can make a room change appointment now). This is what happens when you don't get names. I'm packing anyway. I AM moving on campus, by god.

I find it ironic that two of my classes next semester are in Donovan Annex and Alumni Colisseum. Which would be closer if I were to stay where I am. Oh, well.

I stopped by the university newspaper's headquarters to talk to my photojournalism teacher (and advisor to the newspaper), which will introduce me to the photo editor which will hire me to take photos for the newspaper. Well, numero uno in that process was MIA (he had already went home), so the events that were to happen later didn't actually happen.

A friend of mine is supposed to be here now. Visiting. Why do I continue to believe him when he says he's going to visit? I blame my naïveté.

Tomorrow's my birthday!

Random fact of the day: Sigmund Freud had a morbid fear of ferns. A fact which I brought up while on the phone with my aunt today. One of those, "Did you know?" moments. She didn't. She brought up the possiblity that I was on drugs. I should really start keeping a penny everytime someone calls me crazy or asks if I'm on drugs. Just out of sheer curiosity.

I just realized naïveté, birthday, and day rhymed. "Oh, and by the way, my name's Shae! I like hay! I'll be free in May! I have a comic book dinner tray! Donkeys bray! I don't like hair spray! Do I like fish of cray? I say to you, NAY! No wonder I can't get laid." Ok, so the last one was an approximate rhyme. Sue me already. You can have my ramen and a penny.

ta!

"All my friends say that I ain't so right in my head..."

Something that was lying dormant as a private entry in my diary:

1. I can't resist jumping in a puddle after it rains only when its too cold to do so.


2. My theme song is Aimee Allen - Revolution. "I'd start a revolution... if I could get up in the morning."


3. I twitch my foot when I can't sleep. What?


4. When I change the volume on the tv or winamp, it has to end in 5 or 0. (20, 25, etc..)


5. My favorite candy is sour gummi worms from Save A Lot


6. The fastest I've driven a car was approximately 90 mph. I was in an '83 Oldsmobile... Regal? The speedometer only went to 85. It was in a straight stretch by the police station. Daniel knows this. ;) We were a-racin'!


7. I can't choose just one favorite thing. Food, movies, books, etc. It's all dependent on my mood. And I hate questions that are like "what's your favorite blah blah blah.." because when everything's so good, why choose one?


8. I've never done one of those internet "survey" things. (This one has changed now. I did one Daniel and Brandi and Stephanie and Amelia did. I was bored!)


9. If I had a penny for everytime someone said I was crazy or asked what i was on, I'd be a very rich girl.


10. I HATE when cds say they're burning, but end up fucking up for no apparent reason.


11. I avoid confrontation at all costs, though most people would describe me as outspoken. I don't get it either.


12. I clogged when I was in 2nd grade. Went through beginner, intermediate, and 3 advanced classes.


13. I've only been in one real fist fight my entire life. That was in 6th grade.


14. If I had to choose a true enemy, it would be aol. Motherfuckers are YET to cancel my account and leave me the hell alone (eventhough I've cancelled it 3 times.)


15. I used to play flute (4 years) and piano (2 years). I'm still failing at guitar.


16. My bible school teacher was my piano teacher. She gave me a discount for being in bible school and extra presents at Christmas time! XD


17. My first concert was Garth Brooks. For some strange reason (eventhough I abhor country music), I got a little angry when I heard the guy on "I love the 90s" dissing him. Then got more angry because I didn't know why I was angry.


18. I swim like a fish and love water.


19. I believe in trying everything twice. This, my friends, is a bad idea.


20. I've been to 8 different schools and lived in 10+ different houses. And I'm not talking in a linear pattern. I mean, to one school, to another, back to the first, to a different. Same with houses.


21. I don't know who my biological sperm donor is.


22. I used to be afraid of my mamaw's basement because I once dreamt there were demons in it.


23. I could be considered a jack of all trades, master of none.


24. I regret not following through with music and drama that I started in elementary school.


25. At the same time, I make a point to never have regrets. What's in the past is in the past and there's nothing I can do about it? ;)


26. My favorite perfume is Sand & Sable. My mamaw used to keep a bottle of it on her dresser. Charlie Red is probably 2nd. I go for the cheap shit.


27. I have a heart shaped freckle on my thigh.


28. I've been in gymnastics, dance, swim team, academic team, band, track, cheerleading, basketball, volleyball, forensics, drama team, FBLA, and probably more things I can't remember. Not necessarily for long periods of time because my mom always made me quit what I started. And I got a really nasty habit of it. ;)


29. I want my nose pierced, my tongue, my ears a 3rd time, once on the cartilage, and once on the little flap thingy. (No, that's not technical. ;)) I don't really want anything else. No one will see anything else.


30. I'm afraid tattoos are addictive.


31. I can fold my tongue back and make ti stay. I heard only one in a million can do that. Me, my aunt, and Brandi can.


32. I've never done drugs. Only drank to try to get drunk once. And I "mixed my colors". Quite a bit. Didn't get sick or too bad to walk straight or hold a conversation. Brandi said i was bitchy.


33. Stackers fuck me up like I assume speed would.


34. chocolate and caffeine gives me palpitations


35. I've ridden a mule. He was my papaw's. His name was pete.


36. I've been an unfortunate attendant at a game of "donkey basketball".


37. When I was 4, I was hit in the chest by a can of hairspray tha twas thrown into the fire and exploded at a high rate of speed. I was wearing a pink mickey mouse shirt that my aunt brought back from her senior trip and mamaw probably still has. Mom flipped out and took me to get x-rays.


38. I've sprained my ankle more times than I've stubbed my fingers. And I played basketball for a while!


39. It caused me to develop an unnatural fear of uneven sidewalk.


40. I still have my first stuffed animal. His name's Higgins. He's a raccoon. Yes, I call him Higgy-poo.


41. Possums are scary.


42. I'm not all that easy to embarrass. I can always laugh at myself. Its fun.


43. The radio pisses me off.


44. I eat grilled cheese with pickle juice.


45. Now I want a grilled cheese with pickle juice.


46. I attended 4 summers at a christian camp.


47. I bruise so easily, they once insisted on testing me for lupus..


48. My best friend dubbed me "grammar princess". The banner on weatherbug spouting good things about a "dieth patch" still annoys me. Stephanie is still reigning queen. For good reason. ;)


49. I type an average of 90 wpm.


50. I have invisible eyelashes. Meaning they're so blonde, without mascara, it looks like I don't have any. One of my "friends" said it I look like I have cancer w/o makeup. "*blinks* Thanks man."


51. My papaw just came in here, mumbled something about corn, and left. Let's just say I get my insanity honest.


52. Teachers in high school used to get pissed that I could miss all their classes and still ace their tests. They passed me anyway.


53. My cousin used to orchestrate little mini shows which I was forced to be backup singer to perform for family. Shortly thereafter, I realized I hated her. "I AM NOT YOUR DANCING MONKEY!"


54. I've never broken a bone, but I was told the sprain I got in freshman year of high school was worse because of the amount of time it took to heal.


55. Just about the only thing I hate about my features is my nose. It's short and chubby.


56. I'm fanatical about my teeth. I hate for them to feel grimey. *cringes*


57. I think I sleep with my eyes open. I wake up sometimes and my eyes are SO dry. That shouldn't happen if they're closed.


58. I love storms, but am terrified of tornados. Daniel once made the expression (after my pointing out we should probably not be in a mobile home while it was lightning so much) that he had never heard me say I was afraid of anything before.


59. I lose more chapstick than I can afford to buy.


60. I want a macaw... and a kitty!


61. I can't have a macaw... or a kitty. Damn school.


62. I have the attention span of a small mammal.


63. Couple of summers ago, I got poison oak camping "with the girls" and ended up looking like Quasimodo for a week.


64. I can moonwalk.


65. I have a betta fish named Jacques. I named him after Jack the Great Betrayer who committed suicide by jumping down the drain.


66. I think I was aiming for 100 with this thing, but since 6 is my Brandi's favorite number, I'm going to end it with 66.

YAY! Birthday countdown: 2 days til I'm 20! (Boy, I feel old.)

Today, I learned a few things:

• Never doubt old friends. A WONDERFUL birthday present (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban DVD for my birthday Friday! (mark your calendars!)) from one and a note that made me tingly all over from another: "I miss you terribley. Come home Lassie." Well, I missed you both. Lassies. *ignores the fact that she misspelled "terribly"* *L*


• Never underestimate the smell of week old Chinese food until you leave the room for 9 hours and come back. *carries to trash chute daintily*


• Never attempt modern dance while still sick, weak, and without eating that day. *falls over a lot* ..Too bad it was our practicum.. :'(


• I underestimate the value of my photography. Email in reply from teacher of the Photojournalism I just wiggled my way into (and wants me to shoot photos for the university paper!): "I'm glad you got in! Come by this week and I will introduce you to the student editors who make the hires. I'm sure they can work you in---" Should teachers/faculty advisors to the university newspaper really be that happy/positive about anything?


• Sitting in the library in one spot for 2 1/2 hours hurts.


• The guys that live above me have a moose in their room. Or something that makes the same amount of noise.


• White cafe mocha and a double chocolate muffin: free with friend connections.


• Finishing an assignment you put off for weeks in an hour and a half (that usually takes four hours): free.


• Staying up until 7 am because the free white mocha your friend gave you wired you like a motherfucking microwave: priceless.

Ok, so maybe that was overdone, but I don't give a shit. Hear that?!

Tell me. What about the mixture of college and alcohol makes throwing an industrial sized trash can out of the 8th floor window amusing? I don't know, but they did it. And the authorities that be were PISSED.

I really should finish Assignment 6 (4 more hours of work! YIPPEE!!!) before I have to take the health final tomorrow... at 9am. I always fuck myself over with scheduling. Ahh, scheduling. The silent killer.

I wonder if Winn Dixie does prints from digital files... I'd love to give Kristin one of her boyfriend and her tomorrow for her birthday. That and a macaroni and construction birthday card. And a three-corner hat. So I can sing, "Your hat, it has three corners!"

I'm too wired. They should cut me off at the coffee shop. *nod*

Indeed.

Procrastination is the Thief of Time

My 30 year old Russian slr camera. It, as you can tell, is a Zenit 3m. This one was marketed for export, so it features English letters instead of Cryllic. :D

...What? I know I SHOULD be doing a million other things, but I figured a few extra minutes to play with this.. "hello" program the minkster suggested couldn't be TOO much of a waste, right?

NOW! Seriously. To work. TA!

SMITE ME, almighty smiter!

Maybe I shouldn't have told the one about Jesus and the Russian?

I'm DYING! BLAH! So, I haven't done ANY of ANYTHING that's on my list of things to do before Wednesday night. I'll be glad when they're all over, but I've been primarily comatose because I'm SICK! I need to make an appointment with health services, but what's the point? I don't have the monies to get the medicine.

Might as well wing it.

*commences*

mmmm... mediocrity!

The proverbial "comparison of penis size" has commenced! I have been measured and goes as thus:

DeviantArt Gallery Stats for shaefred

I have 1,186 pageviews total and my 44 deviations were viewed 1,259 times.

Overall, people left 216 comments and added my deviations to their favourites 25 times, while I commented 471 times, making about 0.77 comments per day since I've joined DA. This means that I gave 22 comments for every 10 that I received.

My most commented deviation was maybe there are no maybes with 25 comments, receiving an average of 1.78 per day in the first 2 weeks, while my most favourited one was Fences, with 7 favourites, averaging 0 per day in the first 2 weeks. My most viewed deviation was Fences with 73 views.

1 Favourites were given for every 10 Comments.

Every 13.8 days I upload a new deviation, and it's usually on a Sunday, with 25%/11 of my deviations.

My busiest month was November 2004 with 21/48% of my deviations.

The majority of my deviations are uploaded to the Photography gallery (35), while my favorite category was Art Photography > Conceptual with 11 deviations

Comments per deviation: 4.9
Favourites per deviation: 0.56
Views per deviation: 28.61
Comments per day: 0.35
Favourites per day: 0.04
Views per day: 2.06
Pageviews per day: 1.94

"I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date!"

So, I intended to get up at 8am. I should've known that wasn't going to happen. HAH! Me? Up before noon? Positively LAUGHABLE! So, I rolled out of bed around 2pm (what?) and commenced to EDITING PHOTOS for my DA account. EDITING PHOTOS! Boy, I have my priorities all cluster fucked. Go me! SO! Things I must do:

• Finish Assignments 5 & 6 for my health class (approx. 4 hours each) by tomorrow at 9:30am.


• Study for HEA Final for Monday.


• Write a dance critique for my modern class on Tuesday.


• Print and complete study guide for dance class test on Tuesday.


• Catch up with Kristin and have her show me what's on the dance practicum Tuesday.


• Find time to write a research paper that I haven't really even finished researching. (American media's role in the war. Fun.) Due Wednesday at 6pm.


• Study for a Spanish quiz I missed TWICE because I had the flu. Indefinite date for which I can take it.

Who wants to take my place for a week?

ta!

"c'mon courage, teach me to be shy.."

Ok, so I can't sleep. Story of my life. I abuse tylenol pm worse than a drunken redneck... abuses... stuff. Well, that was a little awkward. Oh, well. I figured I'd plot out a few things I need to do later on to the blog.

-Links list: my deviantart.com account (among others: daniel's, stephanie's (if she chooses to start posting), Wenz) the minkster, Amelia, my homely homepage, Brandi's poor page. So maybe the links section is a wee bit lacking. Give me a break. Its not like I'm miss popularity or anything. ;)
-Page counter.
-Perhaps look into getting a shout box type thing. Probably won't go over too well, but it's worth a try, eh?

And now, for your nightly rant, brought to you in part by tylenol pm and deviantart.com surfing!

What's with all the angsty little "I'm going to cut myself because I'm SUCH a tortured artist!" 15 year olds?! They're FIFTEEN! I mean, damn! How much can they know about life, love, sickness, hope... all of those "growed up" ideas? "Kid, grow up a bit. When you leave mommy's nest, get an apartment, and commence to the starving half to death just to pay bills, THEN you can rightfully mooch some Zoloft."

Sheesh.

I think trying to sleep again is in order.

Buenas noches.

"the belle of new orleans tried to show me once how to tango.."

Hello all. Welcome to my blog. I already have a (what I like to think) VERY private diary, but wanted something a bit more public.

I guess the background of the motivation for founding this blog is to kind of "find myself" again. I've looked everywhere. Behind the bed, in the closets, on the rooftop. Seems I have been MIA for what I think is nearing a year and a half (at least). I hope to not post any "depressing" entries, as my diary is a place for that and is more than full of depression-y goodness. If I know you and you have no idea of my aforementioned diary, yet you just "happen" upon it somehow, I trust you will respect my privacy and refrain from reading.

Since I want this blog to grow with me as I grow as a person (*cheese dance!*), I refuse to do a "run down" of who I am. Number one, I have no idea myself. Number two, I'd like for you to draw your own conclusions. You're not stupid. You can read for yourself.

I'll probably mess with the html of the site later.

I took two tylenol pm and they KICK MY ASS.

Birthday Countdown: I will be 20 years of age in approximately 5 days, 9 hours, and 54 mins.. (Born: Dec. 10, 1984, 9:50 am.. or was it 9:10am? oh, hell.. who cares?)