circus girl without a safety net

what a crock o' bull

2007-07-27T15:57:00.000-04:00

so, i haven't been here in many moons and had no idea they switched everything to gmail.

google is SERIOUSLY taking over the world (just like the title of one of our projects claimed).

Ode to the Aussie Friend

2007-02-12T15:29:00.000-05:00

HOPEY!

I don't have your email address anymore!

Give me a yell!

Love,
Shae

The eternal, burning question...

2007-01-26T15:12:00.000-05:00

...Where the fuck are my W2's?

Back to the rat race.

2007-01-17T10:38:00.000-05:00

So, I decided to go part-time for this semester. Until I can get my finances straightened out. Which should be relatively soon, as much as I'm overcompensating in the work area. I now work full time at eworks again. 5 days of availability. Plus 20 hrs at KECSAC. Shoot me. Please?

Maybe I can work back into a supervisorship? ...Man, that money was pretty feckin' sweet...

Up side, due to the overcompensation, I should be living pretty comfortably again in no time. Man, I miss those days.

Neurotic.

2007-01-16T18:26:00.000-05:00

...Tip of the fucking iceberg...

When will anyone learn?

2007-01-10T16:55:00.000-05:00

...Not to leave me to my own devices...

So, my roommate and all my honors friends (which, let's face it, is pretty much all my friends) are in Chicago. Ten bucks says she comes home to a carboard box fortress in our living room.

Oh, yeah. I forgot. I kind of had a long break. I worked a lot, had a wonderous new years eve/housewarming/HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY, ROOMIE! party (during which I only vaguely remember setting myself on fire), moved into a wonderful new apartment with hardwood floors, went home and managed to make a fool of myself to our neighbor's model son (I'm not talking, "oh, he's the best son," I'm talking Christian Dior), and best yet, no one in my family shanked anyone!

The latter, I'm pretty sure, is a sign of the apocalypse.

:D
Shae

In my opinion...

2006-12-05T14:25:00.000-05:00

...Old Man Winter needs to now feel the intense need to go fuck himself RIGHT NOW.

And if Miss California Friend comes around these parts telling me stories about how she DOESN'T wake up in the morning to sub-freezing temperatures and frost all over her car... some very bad shit may ensue. *LOVES, D!*

Oh, you bet your sweet ass I'm going to go crawl back in bed.

How I woke up this morning...

2006-12-02T11:59:00.000-05:00

...It's not like she's absolutely starved for my attention...

...She's just being a brat... :)

bumper stickers = what?

2006-11-28T11:10:00.000-05:00

On the bumper of a Subaru Outback: "Hunt with your kids, not for them."

...I'm confused...

Does this mean that there's actually enough people who hunt FOR their kids that it's actually a problem?

Send the kids out into the woods with a deer pelt and a running start.

Any LOGICAL mind would think, "Oh, take your kid hunting and teach THEM to hunt for food instead of bringing it back to them," but then you'd have to make that logical leap to, "Damn. Kentucky IS everything I imagined."

All-in-all, it was a nice chuckle for the start of the day.

Lesson of the Day:

2006-11-27T13:53:00.000-05:00

Nose rings and fuzzy towels do not a pair make.

The kitty says, "SIEG HEIL!"

2006-11-14T19:01:00.000-05:00

...little Hitler 'stache!...

...I'm bored...

Q: What smells like ass?

2006-11-12T14:35:00.000-05:00

A: Whole-wheat bread.

Things that suck like woah on fall break:

2006-10-13T13:12:00.000-04:00

- Getting your car fixed only to break down in Mountain Parkway for 3 hours.
- Missing an exam because of breaking down on Mtn. Pkwy. for 3 hours.
- Going to get money for your SECOND car repair of the week to find that you are $236 in the hole, when you had over $500 three days earlier.
- Finding out that Malaysians stole your card number and bought two airline tickets.
- Draining your savings account to pay for overdraft charges and car repairs.
- Finding out it will take about 6 weeks to get that $572 bucks back from the Malaysians.
- Realizing you only have $140 to fix the car (FOR THE THIRD TIME) because the little "check engine" light won't stay off.

...Should Friday the 13th REALLY last ALL WEEK?!?!

In today's news:

2006-10-04T21:40:00.000-04:00

1. A not-so-fond farewell and fuck you to Claire's noserings. Those bitches are made with devil juice!

2. Happy hour came an hour early. It's kind of like how my family opens presents on Christmas Eve night instead of Christmas day. We were never a family of temperance. :)

3. My costume is NOT going to last very long. I'm doing the Sheik idea from Zelda, but I'm kind of uncomfortable in it, so I'm setting a goal for myself to last at least until 11pm. Nah. 10:30pm. Then fuck it, it's street clothes time.

4. All I asked for was a damned answer. No beating around the bush.

5. tin can : goat :: plastic : my cat, Anouk

6. I'mma go slip into a coma. :D

bits and pieces, here and there

2006-10-03T14:11:00.000-04:00

You know, all we really need is a little word play and a funny, empty feeling in our stomachs.

Took care of the ticket this morning. The judge was really nice. Not like I thought he would be at all. I guess he's more stern to people who actually fuck up (and not just get all tangled up in speed traps).

There's going to be a costume party this coming Thursday for Lindsay and Sarah! At my place! It's going to be... interesting! And fun! :D

Though I don't know what I'm going to be.

There's been suggestions, but let's just say I'm not going down that road at all.

I'm thinking about being a Sheikah from Zelda. *nerd hat!* I can't bring myself to actually commit to it, though. I think that'd be far too much of an affirmation of my nerdiness.

I'm going to go pay my ticket and maybe get my ear pierced and get some monies for rent.

TOODLES!
Shae

I like lazy days!

2006-09-26T15:14:00.001-04:00

Hrm.

Esen the Hamster died. I don't know what the deal was. She had food and water. Guess that's how hamsters do.

Brandy got caught with Pancake the Bunny in her dorm, so she is currently residing in Jenny's old room until Brandy can take her home.

I'm drinking the worst smoothie known to man. I think the mix was old or something. I probably shouldn't be drinking smoothies made from powdered mix anyway, should I?

I'm going to buy a digital slr camera. There's been more than once that I've really really really wanted a digital slr recently, so I think i'm just going to break over. I was trying to wait to see if the desire would go away, but it hasn't, so I think that's a sign.

...At least it's a sure sign with cameras... *bitter*

:)
Shae

I like lazy days!

2006-09-26T15:14:00.000-04:00

my brain's on fire

2006-09-17T00:54:00.000-04:00

I'm going to put a hit out on my cat. Seriously. That bitch has it coming to her.

I got to see my Brandi! Funny circumstances, however. It was for about 5 or 6 hours at a bluegrass music festival. Ever heard of the Poppy Mountain Music Festival? Yeah, neither had I. I'm kind of proud of myself. There was a free open bar and I refrained. Bran's boyfriend's family was there. Otherwise, I would have sure as hell gotten my $35 worth.

OH! Weird story today. I had to send out a mass email at work. My email has my full name (I go by part of my middle) on both the "from" line and in my signature. Well, this guy calls in response to my email and leaves a message, "Hey Shae, this is ___ from Atlanta." I thought nothing of it. Until I called back and he was like, "Is this Shae?" Then I realized, how does this fucker that I'd never met know me by the name I go by most? ...I am still baffled... And a little weirded out, to tell the truth.

How can two brands of ramen be so infinitely different? I love you, Smack! Go to hell, Maruchan!

Time for sleep. :)

Shae

Once upon a time...

2006-09-05T03:35:00.000-04:00

Once upon a time there was a shae,
who could not get onto the internet.
she was very sad because, like most
of her age, she was addicted to the
internet, and to myspace.
This was alright, because right now
she was looking for more people
to come to her apartment.
Alas, this was going badly.
Girls were with boys.
People were trading their time for
some cash.
Boys were with girls.
or they were in louisville.
Pat was at Dragon-con,
and there probably wasn't enough
alcohol for them even if they came.
(Althought it was not a 'drinking'
party, this does not stop people from
wanted to drink all her booze)
Her phone was looking annoyed and
neglected.
They're were 4 people there, two
of whom lived there on a normal basis.
A Hamster scurried along the floor.
and there were lights.
and it was kinda sad.
but not really.
"Why don't I have anyone's number?"
demanded a buzzed shae.
"sniffle snorklefuph" Lindsay Replied,
while scratching her eyes.
The hamster kept trying to knock over
her beer, which would have been really
unfortunate.
Lindsay's eye popped out of her socket
and jumped across the floor.
Nook jumped up and chased it.
Then she ate it.
Lindsay was sad, but no one noticed.
They were much to worried about
the blood pouring out of her eye.
there was a jug and christmas lights.
and it wasn't so bad after all.
not really.
the hamster was rolling.
the end.

or is it?
burgers?

I <3 notepad.
I less than three notepad.
There is a fly on the bottle.
There is a fly in the bottle.
yum said the fly.
and then his liver exploded.
he was pretty happy anyway.
coz he's a fly.
and he was only gonna like, live 2 weeks anyway.
it's probably hard to read in the dark, shae.
I want to play scrabble.
Scrabble would be fun.
At my high school, you'd invite people over to play scrabble when you
really wanted to make out with them.
So... Scrabble.
So, i can't really play scrabble, and i was never invited over
to play.
but this is not an emo monologue. i promise.
The blue light from the Tv is very creepy.
creepy like a creep.
Like that radiohead song.
coz shae likes radio head.
radiohead or is it radio head.
is there a space bewteen them?
let's make a jug band, shae said.
a jug band that plays radio head covers.
Creep, done by jugs.
dumb shit people do is fun.
well, hearing about it anyway.
brandy is here now.
this is brandy's story. she
is.
gonna.
die.
from.
owl aids.
owl aids is a joke.
about owls.
and owl rape.
and we were in the prosses of figuring out... conor obesrst.
and it smells like good stuff does.

Star hoodie.
Star Witness.
Ah man! she's a cutie.
but damn, is he creepy.
Let's pretend to know what we're gonna do, then we're gonna do.
....and brandy rides laser panda like a horse.
"she's so fluffy"
"I thought that you were talking about lindsay"
"me too..."
whiplash isn't fun for your neck.
My back and chest feels weird.
because brandy is sitting on it.

ah. my organs.
my...
organs.
mahhhhahahha!
and my spine.
but i don't mind it soo much.
Stephen is watching the fly get drunk.
it's wings are wet,
i forgot it had wings.
dude, wings....

shea is gonna let the kitty out!
wooo hoooo wooo!
party time!
oh, imean,... oh, it's nook.
nevermind.
lol. /sapparently kidneys and throats are the same thing
I just had some really bad deja vu.
really bad deja vu.
It was about turkey burgers and an asian girl that wasn't asian. so brandy.
That is totally your right, not your left.
I'll take that one. she says to the cup that fell on the ground.
I choose you hamster.
tiger army?
tiger army says get off the internet.
i think that is one of there songs.
hello.
the internet is for porn.
it is also for porn.
sometimes it is for wow.
but mostly it is for porn.
sorry kate, i masterbate.
but mostly it is for porn.
she's not an alcholoic!
someone counting her chickens before they hatch.
damn!
brandy doesn't get signal!
damn!
hamster pleasure.
she's fast!!!!!!!!
..i mean. the hamster....
heheheh.
what?
you don't get a lot of play.
i don't get a lot of play!!!!
upside down hamster.
--------------------------------------------------
///start brandy parsons/
one potato.
two potato.
three potato.
now.
foreplay isn't for you grandmother.
Silent fart..?
he's a fart master..
a green disaster.
kung fu fighting faster than..
lighting..!
your won't be the first one,
nor will it be the last.
come back..
to frank sinatra.
kitty kat, kitty kat..
mouse on mars..where you gonna go?
kitty kitty kitty kat..
you're fat.
ball ball, who has the balls..?
general sword,
are you fucking serious?
something funny. The end.
/end brandy parsons/
\------------------------

foreplay isn't for your grandmother?
i think it is?
why isn't it for your grandmother?
she might enjoy it.
Jared's grandmother seems to enjoy it.
Brandy?! found porn!
a dildo. magazine.
in her.. grandmother's bathroom.....?
they live in seperate rooms? then they have to.
I love my grandma.
I hope she had orgasms.
I hope she had a very happy sex life.
Because that is nice.
because i love my grandma, and i hope she had nice life stuff.
Brandy is gone insane, and has the consumption.
you guys are so classy.
she just farted on him.
this is classy.
flowers in a jug?
there is something classy about that.
come her you,
classy. kitty kitty.
classy kitten. hamster foot.
hamsterfood.
it would scurry away.
jared move your leg!!!
geeze, i can't get out.
jared caught me fart. and i was hoping that he wouldn't.
---------------------------------------
/start jared mcckinney/

how does the poliece oxfficer lick muffin bunns?
its a trick question because there is a stick of butter in my pants and it screams for some sunlight
because if you dont dance then you moisten your pants... with cocoa butter

captian kirk said only two things... hello, and look at my sexy hat

its about that time, that time of day when you notice that guy in your closet, who masturbated on command
disco dancin lover boy whose paint is a poop jar fly.

simon and garfunkle sittin in a palm tree because the spanish inquisition man... government.
yellow and black make green, so if your asian... look out for the black man. he will give you swamp thing babies.
watch out for the slip and slide with shit on it... it will satin your heels.

sometimes the strawberry milk cant drive 55... and that makes me sad, because how can you breath when that danm rubber duck
moves so slow, you cant even smell your crack anymore because of immigration laws... danm those fences...

mate with me you small turkey and smell my anal vapors because im a hot little midget with a mastrabatoy complex

go go gadget erection powered by his rectum rockets and kaboose juice for fuel.
so yellow and black make black.... so your safe.

how many frogs must a man sing to before you call him a man
3 butt cheeks.... i have... im sorry.... bad lab experiment... with butt cheeks...

so a monkey escapes from a zoo, he hops a train from new york to switzerland... he makes some friends in high places.
5 years go by and he becomes dictator and builds the worlds greatest army.
they are not the greaTEST because of numbers, but because they have conqured all of europe with only swiss army knifes.
5 more years go by and the monkey dies of poop... poisining... yeah, poop poisening. then walt disney becomes a zombie
and takes the throne. he then proceedes to eat things and then europe blows up and we all morn... for porn... i guess.

im going to give up the compy... for now, ill e back....
/end jared mcckinney/
____________________________________________________________________

social awkward zombies.
jared can't spell.
and captian kirk said more than two things.
he said. hello, i love you spock, and look at my sexy hat.
so he said three things.
where did that fluff ball go?
what is on your mind?
hey.
your feet on on me.
dear zac braff, you are awesome and all, but you can't just shuffle your ipod, and call it a movie soundtrack.
you just can't.
i mean, it's awesome, but that's good anyway.
brandy is scratching her toe.
and it feels weird.
this feels weird.
hehe.
weird.
your kneecaps are just above my kneecaps, and it's weird.
i'm glad will is not here.
creepy.
creepy.
creppy.
my new pet.
this is my new pet.
it is a story, says shea.
it is a story worthy of the internet.
b ut not really.
the internet is for the internet.
and wikipedia is a blog, according to dr. spock.
he was.
the gay.
not that there is anything wrong with thaT.
well, that is from a senfield episode, and i agree with that peticular
senfield episode.
larry david is infallable.
he's pretty much george.
also awesome/
you're just sleeping on my lap.
it's kinda like a living blanket
it's kinda like a live-in blanket/.
it's kinda like a live in girlfriend.
that is a blanket.
and crushes your ribs.
there is funny burger.
there is a turkey burger.
really.
really.
spoons and cups are gone.
but all her shit is still there.
sydney and her bf are here now.
so there are more people here now.
so then it is much more intresting now.
yes yes yes.
it is much more intresting now.
well, you are moving in together pretty quickly.
who knows how it will end, but it was pretty fast.
anyway.
this is what her bf says.
and it's probably right.
but i can't just stop tying in that thing...
what is that thing?
stream of conciousness.
i like that.
i like that.
black and yellow do not make fucking green, jared, you are really stupid.
black and yellow do not make fucking green.
i could show you my box all fucking day, and you wouldn't even notice.
i always color inside the lines.
i'm not perfect
i'm not purple.
i'm not coloring inside the lines.
but black and yellow do not make green.
no no
black and yellow crayon do also not make green.
do also not is not a proper series of words, but jared cannot spell, or see colors, apparently.
so it doesn't matter.
oh, alcohol, i still drink to your health.

a labor day monster sex romp
the night of the living penis.
the texas chainsaw axewound.
if you have to remind people who you are in y our next song, you are out.
you are out.
it has catnip in it, so she rubs her face on it.
meow.
meow.
what's wrong with you?
it says catnip, but you really mean weed.
there cat had a problem.
listen here man, the cat only deals in cps.
who set a frog loose up your ass?
frog ass.
says brandy.
rowarrr!
i had a dream.
how did you have dream about it, and you'd never heard it.
------------
/brandy parsons start//

everyone laughs.
your such a jolly whore.
ha ha ha ha..
this guy had dolphin sex.
it's bad.
drunk yet dolphin.
the dolphin said give me time baby, i have everything thing else dolphin need.
catnip and migets, don't get on google earth.
my period.
I'm bleeding, bleeding earth. Am I sober?
That was bad but fun in a way.
oh shit, is that where we live? google earth BABY!
Are you mine sun shine, do you hazve cookies for me.
no you don't i am not for you. So horny..me so horny.
Lindsey will love you long time.
That is the story, she called him.
pull it up, pull it out.
5 minutes of fame baby.
I'm gonna starve to death for boobies.
I want boobies.
boobies baby.
give me your boobies.
muscle boobs.
man boobs.
fatty boobs.
queen boobs.
I want boobs baby.
scary women, boobs, flexing, dancing boobs.
bulla bulla boobie baby.
Oh shit.
shit?
shit comes from your rectum.
Shake your rectum baby.
shake it like an earth quake.
landslide baby.
summer camp landslide.
damage my lungs.
I can't breathe air, I breathe love.
love? what is love?
landslide.
--------------
/end brandy parsons//
--------------
what is love
baby don't hurt me.
what is love
what is love? ...
I won't tell on you.
Sit on me.
I'm only kidding.
You're the only one, but you're with somebody.
you give me the worst weggies.
that's what friendship is for.
he talking about the french relvoution.'
talkling about the different classes.
the smurfs chopped off their head.
up wiht the third class.
down with the nobles.
la pastie de la boisqusie.
don't be scared by the books you've heard.the books you've read.
richards on richards.
the lower classes. go chompy chompy chompy.
oh chompy!!!!
all dogs go to heaven.
excpet the ones who go to hell.
i want her dress.
i want her fleas.
we've got the fleas.
that made her cry.
because he's dead now, and it's creepy.
it's too dumb to get out.
holy cow!
holy cow.
too lazy hamsters gonna come out the front gate.
he's ready to go.
he's ready to go.
the lifetime movie about eva braugh.
if you married hitler, you're probably asking for it.
hope you don't get gassed.
hope you don't get gas.
from all the german sausage.
i would like to be set on fire.
-----------------
/start jared mcckinney//

so a turtle walks into a bar.... a preist and a.... the preist molested him.
a cowboy sits down... the seat breaks, whitch gives him a massave erection that lasted more than 4 hours.
he consulted a doctor.
if you lick an ice cream cone with just the right ammount of pressure, the core of the eatrh will freeze which will
result in the moon having dihereah... that is poop.
if you walk more than 2 mph, you will get a rectal probe of massive ammounts of mixed fruit

if the pope wore a bikini then jay leno would buff his chin with a suede hubcap.

erection connection? yes, sounds like a talk show for your unborn fetus.

wonder if the dalhi llama dyes his pubes...?
yes.

well well well... how did you overcome your butt butt syndrome... with poop sauce and cheese.
can you smell me... i cant, but i thouoght you might want to touch my butt... its name is burt.

well, nobody wanted to write in you so im here with you again mister laptop.
if i had gills i would eat things... that only things with gills could eat.
but for now ill just look at naked animals with 2.547 legs.
how big is big foots junk... in his trunk.?

_____________________________

*start shae*
"I can run surprisingly fast on all fours!"
"TRY AN ET WALK! DO IT!"
"that's not an et walk, that's an et fall down!"
Hello, mr. joyce. how are you today?
i've got a brand new pair of rollerskates!"
"HAHA! *penis sign* ...key..."
"TRANNY PANTIES!"
"you got a hummer from the tranny didn't you?"
"I'm going to!"
"...*blinks*..."
"I"m going to start a website called tranny panties! It will do well!"
I'm dying of the consumption.
I'm getting surprisingly progressively drunk surprisingly progressively fast.
"Sometimes, furry art is cute!"
...What?
"That's like saying bugs bunny is a furry!"
"Now, Elmer Fudd is a furry because he's kissed Bugs Bunny!"
...What again?
"If you wanna dress up like a mouse and have sex, that's your own thing."
Why is my section chock full of quotes?
"I don't wanna be near your vag, stop moving your leg like that!"

We all need to go to bed.

And I think it shall happen.

Soon.

Now.

Hey, idiot. Slow down.

2006-09-01T20:34:00.000-04:00

So, I made this promise to myself. To live life as it comes. To be as... sporadic as possible. Stop caring, really. Do what I gotta do. Do what I wanna do. And what do I do after so long of (at least mostly) staying true to it?

Not only let myself down, but let down a pretty damn good friend.

If you'd only come back, I swear I'd change my mind.

I need someone else to confirm that I made the right decision because quite frankly it doesn't feel like it right now.

You see, I have this insane refund check and a bunch of legally binding papers that I could shred to ribbons.

Damn you, stuffy nose and sore throat! Damn you to hell!

Why can't it stop raining?

2006-08-31T20:54:00.000-04:00

...For real... The dreary weather is seriously impeding my ability to function at 100%. There's nothing better than curling up in your bed, covered to your ears on a rainy day.

Nothing new to report, really. And I think anyone who ever read this before lost faith in my ability to keep it updated, so I'm not even sure if I'm just talking to myself or not at this poitn in time. It's okay if I am. I need it. :)

Going to embark on the supervisor soiree this weekend at eworks. Kind of terrified about that. Right now, it's just added stress to everything else that's been going down.

Biding my time, man. Biding my time.

Quiz time!
Shae

Hair Dye and Lullabyes

2006-08-14T17:25:00.000-04:00

Bah. I'll finally take the pictures of the puppies down. :( It's fucking with my layout. She still has OODLES of puppies, so let me know.

What's new? Well, coming up, classes. And Shae becoming supervisor at one job, and still Student Associate at the other. (Oh, yeah. I have two jobs. The reason for my mile-long hiatus.) My life is now work, which is why I have nothing to say anymore. :D I enjoy both my jobs, though. I wouldn't have seen Frank Black if I hadn't had the 2nd job. Well, at least I wouldn't have known about it. Heh.

Hair dye and lullabyes is all I need right now.

This is slowly becoming my, "Look who I saw!" blog.

Mr. Frank Black:

KITTIES! PUPPIES! Get them HERE! :XD

2006-08-02T18:16:00.000-04:00

I don't care if my layout fucks up becase of the pictures.

*I took down my photo of my kitties. They ALL died. WTF?*

-----------------------------------------

AND NOW, my aunt's babies!

They're AKC registered golden retriever pups, 8 weeks old last Friday (the 28th). There's ELEVEN of them left (she HAD twelve), 5 boys and 6 girls. She's asking $300 for the males, $350 for the females. If you or anyone you know is interested, please send me an email (publicxeccentric {little at sign} hotmail.com) and I'll put you in contact with my aunt. Note: Don't let the crappy quality of my pictures deter you from these adorable little balls of fluff. It was almost sunset and the fuckers wouldn't sit still for two seconds.

*Takes down all pictures but her favorite!*

...Yet very lovable and good with kids. (Zachy busted his little chin. :()

It's really sad...

2006-07-09T15:08:00.000-04:00

...I don't think any week in the future can surprass this one...

But it sure as hell will be fun trying! :XD

Cat, I'm a kitty cat! And I dance dance dance and I dance dance dance!

2006-07-03T10:47:00.000-04:00

(I woke up with that in my head this morn. Doh.)
Battlecat died last week.
We named the rest of them. The white one is Nianko, the other tiger-striped one is Raja, and the grey one with the eyepatch is Scallywag. They're just now starting to open their little kitten eyes.
We took in another kitten last night (yet unnamed). It's older and kind of skiddish. We're just keeping it until Tina gets another place.

And that's the revolving door apartment kitten update for the day!

days like today make me wish i had graduated already

2006-06-27T10:34:00.000-04:00

...Never in my life (and probably never AGAIN in my life) have I wanted to be both a college graduate and a video game bum...

"We are currently seeking a healthy woman with blonde hair, light eyes, and an advanced degree to be an egg donor for a loving couple. $5,000."

"We are searching for beta testers to test a variety of video games. These are for games that are not released yet, and we need public opinion about. This particular series of games will be released after summer, so testers are needed ASAP. If interested, email us with your video game experience. Thanks!
Compensation: $30-$50 per hour"

...wow...

daydreaming

2006-06-26T18:22:00.000-04:00

Mary gave me this link to apply for a job with her and I've spent QUITE some time putting around on it.

And daydreaming.

I found some places in Dublin "for let" for EUR100 and EUR150!!! Of course, they're just rooms, but it's nice to muse about them. And a job in London as an assistant to an actor. You know. Travel. Decent pay. And a job listing for campaign staff against global warming that pays quite handsomely (at least by my current living terms). But I'd have to move to some place like San Diego. Oh, drats. And here's one wanting photos of Abbey Road like the Beatles' cover!!! We SO did that in London! HAH!

...Isn't it sad that I find this enthralling?

Estoy una abuela.

2006-06-26T12:37:00.000-04:00

Sunday morning:

Two babies!

Kitty #1! (Zelda?)

Kitty #2! (Battlecat)

Monday Morning:

FOUR KITTENS?!

Kitty #3! (Little Ria reincarnated?)

Kitty #4! (ROAR!)

New mommy Anouk being adorable.

I can't wait to play with them!

...and when i press the keys, they all get reversed...

2006-06-12T16:44:00.000-04:00

Bah.

I'm having one of those days where my head feels like it's going to explode and my sympathetic nervous system doesn't understand that there is NO IMPENDING DOOM.

One of those days when I double-click the msn icon three times before I realized, "Shit. It's already open."

There's all kinds of kids on campus. I think it's Upward Bound, GSP, or something of the like.

...Yet, what my senses pick up is not summer, children, or anything at all resembling anything that spring entails...

There's never really anything to say here anymore. I don't really remember what I ever had to say in the first place. I guess we all THINK our lives are much more interesting than they are at one point or another along the way.

Life needs a few more curveballs.

"RAT! *pelts*"

*giggles*

Oh, Palahniuk.

They're all running from air sharks.

2006-06-09T11:23:00.000-04:00

Yesterday:
3:30pm - hit the road; make a 2 hour drive feel like 2 minutes.
5:30pm - Jeremy's apartment!
6 - 7pm - lost in Louisville for an hour
7pm - arrive at the Chuck Palahniuk reading/signing!
8pm-1am - Laughing at Bobby hitting on Jeremy incessantly.
1am -

(If the photos don't work, try right clicking, "Show Picture.")

Real damn late - Waffle House! Adult Swim!
4:30am - sleep!

Today:
7:30am - 2 hours sleep, coffee, driving, Hardee's, work

Yeah, it was a pretty damn good day.

WTF?

2006-06-02T15:41:00.000-04:00

...That was just lying in our apartment floor when I came home...

...No one knows where it came from...

...Or what it's used for...

...Even the kitty...

...*blinks*... It's odd. Weird shit seems to happen ALL THE TIME to us.

THAT'S MY BABY, ANOUK! She's having babies. I'm going to be a grandmother. *doh*

BTW, I'm a waitress now, too. I have no life because I work two jobs that equal about 70 hours a week. It's... "wonderful."

purloined in petrograd

2006-05-24T13:17:00.000-04:00

It appears that an update is long past due here!

School = done and dead! (At least this semester. WEWT!)
Work = Fantabulous, but I need a 2nd job. Bah.
Friends = crazier everyday (how do I manage to find all the random ones?)
Family = flabberghasting. I'm still not quite sure how to deal with my step father's sobriety.
Car = still ghetto and in need of rotors like woah. ...I should do that before I go to Louisville...
Money = sucks. Per usual.

Ergo...

Life = pretty friggin' sweet

last night i had that strange dream where everything was exactly how it seemed

2006-04-21T15:04:00.000-04:00

Shittiest day.

Shitty weather.
Shitty health.
Shitty luck.
Shitty alarm clock.
Shitty mood.

The perfect day to retreat to the Shae cave!

"...don't barrage me with questions to all those ugly answers..."

2006-04-14T12:27:00.000-04:00

Dear GOD, it's FRIDAY!!!

Many strange happenings. I think I saw an old old old old (talking maybe 2 years ago) friend at the Motion City Soundtrack concert last night. I didn't say anything. I actually wasn't for sure if it was him. I'm sure he wasn't sure if it was me.

My bosses are bringing me back chimichagas from Casa! Today's an awesome day!

Bah. I'm going to run out of skips on launchcast today. I'm just trying to fucking find something familiar. I'm in a, "I want things to be familiar," kinda mood.

I have much much much more to say, but the lunch hour is almost over! (I have to be covert! ;))

sweet like candy to my soul

2006-04-07T00:58:00.000-04:00

There's an apartment waiting for us. We get to keep our kitties. We're all excited about it. We celebrated.

Rather extensively.

And there's a high chance we'll use that nuclear warfare shelter. ;)

Yeah, I'm sure it's lined with lead. And if it's not, we'll hire a bartender. One that knows how to make all the best drinks. So we'll be too intoxicated to know about the nuclear winter.

Then again, that roach we saw in the first apartment would still be alive if it were the nuclear winter.

So we should be a-okay. ;)

all the streets here run in circles

2006-04-05T17:48:00.000-04:00

Today smelled like summer. I'm not too thrilled with that. I've never really been a huge fan of summer. It's all sticky and gross. Spring is much more enjoyable to me.

Time to look for apartments! YAY!

Time to go get a chicken caesar wrap from Blimpies. Man, I haven't eaten there in EONS. Since it feels so much like summer already, I think I may get some ben and jerry's cherry garcia and crash in the ravine with Lindsay and Brandy.

If I can find my damned phone.

I'm sure you do.

2006-03-28T16:12:00.000-05:00

I'm in a very strange place.

I can't even explain it.

I don't want to explain it.

Just trust me.

K?

The Definition of Duly

2006-03-24T23:09:00.000-05:00

Home now. It's really weird, but I'm sort of glad.

But you were wrong. They didn't really do shit but their job. No more, no less. It's even more proof that my assumptions were correct.

...But I would like to emphasize that most assumptions made are completely wrong... A simple fact seems to be neglected nine times out of ten.

"Of course it's sad. No one wants to believe they're all alone."
"You know, you're a real upper."

It makes me chuckle to realize that I've been here before. Same fears. Same context. Same conversation. Verbatim. It gives me the advantage. The advantage of desensitization.

And you said I'd never have to use that word. ;)

Furrowed brows banished by amused grins.

Superfluous at best.

Tact is highly overrated.

...As is the illusion of eloquence...

It all DID catch up with me. Only it wasn't quite the slow decline that I expected. It was all at once. Like an avalanche. Unforgiving. Deadly.

"Well, at least you gave it one hell of a try."

...And in that moment, I realized you were so fucking right...

-------------------------------------------

Martina Sorbara - All in Good Time

Just a few more days 'till spring
And I'm crossing my fingers
Oh let the snow melt into rain
The city is deserted
As if everybody hurt it
This town doesn't want us around here today
And I've got that feeling my life is caving in
I can't help but feel that way

So don't even tell me that all in good time
That I'll be just fine

I'd feel so much better if you'd loosen my tether
As I'm tossed about, your cold white ball
I'd get on the freeway, wont stop driving 'till next Tuesday
And put a thousand miles between us or more
I know that's not possible, all the streets here run in circles
I wouldn't even make it out of the car

So don't even tell me that all in good time
That I'll be just fine
Don't even try to ease my mind
Oh don't waste my time

If I do get through this
I promise you this
Next time around I'll get it right
I'll walk through your ghost town
In nothing but my night gown
And you can blow with all your might
And I'll face you smiling
Whether dying or surviving
But for now I just got to make it through tonight

So don't even tell me that all in good time
That I'll be just fine
Don't you try to ease my mind
Oh don't waste my time
Don't even tell me
That I'll be just fine
'cause I know I'm not fine
Don't ask me to try and be kind
Because it's personal this time

"...A moving target in a firing range..."

2006-03-23T10:52:00.000-05:00

Wow, I haven't updated in a while.

Well, I suppose this is all you need to know:

- I don't know why, but I had the STRONGEST urge to go home yesterday (which is fucking weird), so I called, and bada-bing, here I go.
- BRANDI IS COMING TO VISIT ME!!! I'm excited times nine!
- Showers are optional when you don't see anyone for more than two seconds in passing.
- The word "ridiculous" is getting fucking old.
- I lose things like it's my fucking job. (No idea where my school ID is now.)
- Somewhere I'm not scatterbrained.

I hope HomeZone is having meatloaf. Because I'mma eat the hell out of it.

See ya on the flip side!
Shae!

...Yup...

2006-03-15T20:56:00.000-05:00

Spring Break's not really a break at all. I want to sleep in my own bed. Amongst other things.

Bah. I feel sick. And tired. Physically and mentally. And my arm is twitching for some strange reason.

I'm working on about 50 ulcers as we "speak."

I'mma sleep so hard tonight. It's going to be sweet.

Do you have an opinion? A mind of your own?

2006-03-08T21:41:00.000-05:00

Wholly shite.

Bed time.

HOORAY!

Shit that happens!

2006-03-07T19:04:00.000-05:00

1. Tried to wrap my head around how I managed to set my alarm clock an hour behind its usual time without realizing it. ("WTF? *looks at cell phone, clock, cell phone, clock* I thought daylight saving time sprung forward in the spring!") Up side: I got an hour more sleep!

2. Made a rainbow and 50 gold coins. Perhaps I am a leprechaun?

3. Found out my little sister is more than hell bent on joining a foreign exchange program to Japan for her Sophomore year in high school. This makes me immensely proud.

Meh. I'm going to go do homework. I always say that's where I'm going, but I never actually make good ont he claim.

:XD

Who's up for a good seizure?

2006-03-06T22:45:00.000-05:00

I just finished doing some layout shit on my myspace. I'm kind of proud of it, even though it's busy as hell and will probably cause many seizures in the somewhat near future.

Now that my head hurts and I am destined to spend the remainder of the night on a humanities paper, I'm going to go to bed.

Shae!

"How many times undone can one person be?"

2006-03-04T00:37:00.000-05:00

I've been sitting here for quite some time now. Working a puzzle on the minkster's blog. With some crazy quiet meditation. And dedication. To this useless little task. And I'm not stopping til I'm finished. But I've realized some things. My "place," if you will. And I'm okay with it.

For tonight.

If something doesn't fit into your puzzle at the time, you need to get it out of the way. And you should expect no less of others who are working on their little puzzles. There are spaces in time and place for everything/one. And perhaps mine has passed. So. Just because your puzzle isn't going as expected for the time being, you shouldn't rip it all apart and put it back in the box. As I would have done before (and have been so very tempted to do lately). You just have to do what you're being forced to do. Be who you're being forced to be at the moment. And I'm okay with that.

For tonight.

Fucka buncha every goddamned thing.

Little Ani Difranco never ceases to amaze me. This song has been stuck in my damned head all day:

"so what?"

who's gonna give a shit
who's gonna take the call
when you find out that the road ahead
is painted on a wall
and you're turned up to top volume
and you're just sitting there in pause
with your feral little secret
scratching at you with its claws
and you're trying hard to figure out
just exactly how you feel
before you end up parked and sobbing
forehead on the steering wheel

who are you now
and who were you then
that you thought somehow
you could just pretend
that you could figure it all out
the mathematics of regret
so it takes two beers to remember now
and five to forget
that i loved you so
yeah, i loved you, so what

how many times undone
can one person be
as they're careening through the facade
of their favorite fantasy
you just close your eyes slowly
like you're waiting for a kiss
and hope some lowly little power
will pull you out of this
but none comes at first
and little comes at all
and when inspiration finally hits you
it barely even breaks your fall

who were you then
and who are you
now that you can't pretend
that you can figure it all out
subtract out the impact
and the fall is all you get
so it takes two beers to remember now
and three more to forget
that i loved you so
yeah, i loved you, so what
i loved you
so what

...Sleep deprivation at its very best...

2006-03-03T00:19:00.000-05:00

Delivery Man: "I have a package here for the Big Cheese."
Tiffany: "We don't have a Mr. Cheese."
Delivery Man: "*confused look*"

Old ground.

2006-02-28T23:18:00.000-05:00

Today felt like a whole set of strings tightening... ready to snap. A million things that could go wrong. A million things that went wrong.

Forecast for tomorrow: apathetic with a 50% chance of fucking up.

And those of you who know me know that, by 50%, I really mean more around 80%.

Radio silence commences.

Now.

"This pillow stuffing tastes like imchoking!"

2006-02-28T10:30:00.000-05:00

"The exports are seen as an attempt by Chavez to embarrass the Bush administration, which the Venezuelan leader says neglects poor Americans."

Bush administration neglect poor Americans?! The HELL, you say!

I think what pisses me off more is that, though SOMEONE is trying to help the American poor out (even though they hate the administration), some people are surrounding the whole deal with paranoid controversy (mostly) concerning denying a fact that most people know is true in the first place.

I have a copy of Brokeback Mountain via my "dealer." *winks in nervous friend's direction* Thanks, mate!

I'm hungry and in need of a shower.

Adieu.

"Drink up, it's last call, last resort."

2006-02-24T16:08:00.000-05:00

...I constantly have pop songs stuck in my head because I listen to them all day at work...

I got PAID! I can buy hair dye, and conditioner, and do laundry, and make my account balance NOT 8 cents anymore!

I got a 79 on that damned test. I think I'm going to take the retake.

I'm helping a friend with an outrageous assignment.

"A former master pastry chef, Jacques Joaquamol (whack-a-mole) had a shift in career objectives due to the development of an aversion to his very own pastries as a result of witnessing an apprentice being mangled in a high speed blender."

"Travelled to the Himalayas to seek the wisest man at the top of the mountain but found, instead, a small settlement of polar bear ranchers."

"Always confused why Andrew Lloyd Webber was known only by his full name, ___ went against the grain and dubbed him Al Webber."

...This is kind of fun!

I'm hungry. And restless.

Au revoir!

"But it all boils down to one quotable phrase..."

2006-02-21T16:57:00.000-05:00

...And you avoided me. Which is a good thing.

First, tell me the road you will take.

Shae --

[adjective]:

Extremely extreme!

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Faster than speed, right Daniel? *L*

Shit, I have a test tomorrow. I completely forgot.

Here I go!

...just another line in a song...

2006-02-20T16:51:00.000-05:00

The days are longer now. Not actually, but they definitely feel that way.

So full of tension.

Everyone on the defensive.

Like little snakes poised to strike.

...Or snap.

Like the little rubber bands I use at work.

(They REALLY need to get thicker ones.)

"So go ahead. Try the door. It doesn't matter anymore."

2006-02-19T15:28:00.000-05:00

...Go ahead...

Pull my strings...

Every which way...

...Just to watch me unravel...

...And you're not even aware, are you?

Life in blur-o-vision!

2006-02-16T17:04:00.000-05:00

2 hours of sleep rocks my balls off.

Man, oh, man.

...I got free food yesterday... Shit broke, I benefitted. Wewt.

I keep stepping on my skirt. (Note: If I'm in skirt mode, it's a pretty good indicator that I need to do laundry and have NOTHING else to wear.)

If I hear another damned pop song, I'm going to explode and take everyone with me.

Okay, I'm exaggerating. I can't avoid them. :'(

It was utterly beautiful today. Guess where I was? Designing a confirmation postcard for our "Managing Sexual Development" PD workshop and burning 100 copies of the same CD of open response materials. And I thought I was getting to leave open response questions with KERA testing... *buzzer*

I'm going to go slip into a coma. Ciao!

You know...

2006-02-15T00:11:00.000-05:00

...the word "ridiculous" comes to mind...

...as I scream at the auto-fill option, "HOW'D YOU KNOW?!"

...Seriously... I haven't been to this site. Not on this computer.

...Big brother's watching you...

(Maybe I AM mentally insane. You know. Since "odd and eccentric" is a descriptor for cluster A of the personality disorders in the DSM-IV-TR. Paranoid. Schizoid. Schizotypal.)

(Now that you mention it, I used to get "schizotypal" on all those damned personality tests that were popular in high school.)

(Well, fuck me.)

Happy "Today Doesn't Actually Exist" Day!

2006-02-14T18:39:00.000-05:00

There's a class meeting near my favorite spot in the library.

They're playing "Jack and Diane" real loud as a part of class.

I shit you not.

2006-02-13T15:56:00.000-05:00

Number three on Yahoo News' most emailed list:

"Several times during the week, I thought about telling my family what's happened to Jesus in the United States - how he's been kidnapped by politicians and preachers who decide what he does and doesn't think. They speak for him, and it doesn't always make sense.

They say Jesus is "pro life," but he doesn't seem to have a problem with the death penalty. And he thinks stem cell research - something that would save lives - is no different from murdering babies. They say he's the embodiment of kindness, love, decency and compassion. But he hates gays, lesbians and Muslims. And he's not too crazy about Buddhists, Hindus and the rest. Jews? He can put up with them if he has to.

The Rev. Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka claims to speak for Jesus and goes around the country talking about how "AIDS cures fags." Pat Robertson says it would be a good idea if the United States killed the president of Venezuela. It would be a lot cheaper than starting another war.

All week I went over that stuff in my head and decided not to mention any of it to the family.

It would make America look ridiculous."

"A man in the park read the lines in my hand told me I'm strong hardly ever wrong I said"

2006-02-12T16:59:00.000-05:00

messy, disorganized, social, tough, outgoing, rarely worries, self revealing, open, risk taker, likes the unknown, likes large parties, makes friends easily, likes to stand out, likes to make fun of people, reckless, optimistic, positive, strong, does not like to be alone, ambivalent about chaos, abstract, impractical, not good at saving money, fearless, trusting, thrill seeker, not rule conscious, enjoys leadership, strange, loves food, abstract, rarely irritated, anti-authority, attracted to the counter culture

For the record...

2006-02-09T17:42:00.000-05:00

...this is BULLshit!

I'm going to go take a nap.

On the up side, it's supposed to snow! Hopefully enough to sled and fight and make things!

...God will probably make it not snow now... Well, not God, but that one weather man... you know the one... with the hair...

:XD

I would like to acquire...

2006-02-07T16:43:00.000-05:00

...a homing pigeon. I'd keep it in a cage on a rooftop like Marlon Brando's character in On the Waterfront!

Man, the Powell lobby looks like a war zone. Bodies everywhere!

I'm so tired. This was the world's longest day. 8-10:15 work, study, 11-12:15 humanities exam, 12:30-4:30 work (and 2 hour dreamweaver workshop). Coming up, 5:00 pizza supper, 7:00 (maybe) chatauqua, then finding time for homework before I collapse of exhaustion. Maybe tonight I'll get more than 4 hours of sleep? (Up side!!! WOOT!)

Some guy just came up to the empty computer beside me, left to scout out other computers, then came back. ...Do I smell? *sniffs* I know I need to do laundry, but damn.

Bah. I'm not much in the mood for pizza. I accidentally threw my bank card away, so I ordered a pizza for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for today so I can use a check. :( Meh. If it's free, I guess I can eat enough to sustain me. :XD

Better hop to it! *poof!*

You are a kitten stuck up in a tree.

2006-02-05T23:41:00.000-05:00

Fucking right.

I don't want it to be Sunday yet!!! I have to work tomorrow! I have to go to class tomorrow! I still have to do homework! I have to get up at 6:30! WHYYYYY?!?!?!?!

(I had to take away this picture and replace it with a link! NOOOO!!!!)

I love you, natalie dee!

Yoga hurts.

2006-02-03T15:24:00.000-05:00

Bleep blip bleep bleep bleep bloop blip bleep-a blip. Bloop blip blip bloop. BLEEP!

...If you can read that, CONGRATULATIONS! You speak robotese!

I had fun in civ today. It had me questioning whether or not my cherry coke existed, but it was fun none the less.

I want to do a semester abroad. Perhaps my last semester here. I wonder if I can do it in Ireland? I'll have to talk to my advisor and some study abroad people.

My brain feels like a fat kid in skinny jeans. I hold it together and suck it up all day while it matters, when, come 4:30 (or, in MWF's case, 3:30), I unzip the fuckers and everything goes EVERYWHERE!

And now I'M FREE! I'm going to go get in my damned bed and make a point not to move for a while.

Toodles!

Piss and Vinegar

2006-02-01T16:53:00.000-05:00

Cookie! Cookie cookie cookie!

Sorry. I was just expressing my love of internet cookies. I love not having to sign on to websites when I get distracted (a very likely event) and have to redirect my attention to the previous task.

Such is the case: I was commenting on a friend's blog when I felt the need to pay my credit card bill, thus making me forget that I want to update my OWN blog. Sometimes, my head is like navigating an asteroid field. And we all now know daunting THAT can be.

I feel my spine hating me. I've been sitting down (in work, in class, at lunch) basically since 8am.

You know, it occurred to me that no one can ever fuck up in life. I mean seriously, irrevocably fuck up. It's not possible. You can always become a motivational speaker to earn your living. "Man, I robbed a bank, ass-raped a chimp, went on a robotrippin' bender, and wrecked my astrovan. Now, I'm a paraplegic with AIDS, but with a little ingenuity, I am now the CEO of Colgate and the first paraplegic to row a blow-up lifeboat around the Cape of Good Hope!"

I never understood the phrase, "She's full of piss and vinegar!" Maybe it's a southern thing, so I have to clarify that yes, it IS a saying and I'm not making shit up. If ~I~ were full of piss and vinegar, I'd probably throw up. So why doesn't it mean really really nauseous instead of rambunctious?

Some dude tried to give me a dollar today. Not just out of the blue, to buy some cookies from some people who... well... were selling them. :XD I refused, of course. One, karma. I didn't want to take money and not be able to pay it back (even if it is a dollar). Two, I think taking money from a stranger to buy candy is sinking to an all new low. It's a sign of a real problem. Keep things simple, people. Stranger -> candy. Not stranger -> money -> bake sale -> candy.

I have homework to do. *sighs* Toodles.

Well, I'll be damned.

2006-01-30T11:30:00.000-05:00

Eh, what do I know, anyway?

An update from your friendly neighborhood hermit.

2006-01-29T17:21:00.000-05:00

I figured while I was already logged in (I commented on a friend's blog), I may as well update.

I just ate an entire pint of Ben N' Jerry's Cherry Garcia.

My heart is going to explode.

Apparently, I'm unpredictable enough that my little brother thought I was in Trinidad. *blinks*

I think I have the entirety of my Dublin pictures up and described, but I will have to get my London and Washington, DC pictures up before I post the link. I've already lost interest in the project, so I have no idea when that'll be.

I hear about that job tomorrow. I'm hella nervous, but I'm fairly sure I didn't get it. I don't know. I just know these things and I know I didn't get the job. Bah.

Someone downloaded MSN messenger to this comp in Spanish. I thought I had had a small stroke. Or been teleported to Mexico. "Bienvenidos a MEXICO!!!" "...WTF?"

Today was AWESOME! But all I got to do was HOMEWORK! YAY!

I'm going back ot my room. Toodles.

LOOKIT!

2006-01-25T17:35:00.000-05:00

I WANT ONE!

Here I am expecting just a little bit too much from the wounded.

2006-01-25T16:02:00.000-05:00

Dammit! My head's like a musical revolving door today.

"Scheduled outage at 4:00PM PST."

...Okay, then...

I'm actually tired of it being cold. All I wanted to wear today was a t-shirt, a pair of jeans, and my old, beat up flip-flops of unknown origins. I suppose spring is coming too soon anyway. I remember just wanting it to be cold enough to sport a jacket. I guess my whole life is built upon impatience and things I just simply cannot have.

I have an interview for an on-campus job tomorrow. It's the one I really really really want. It's in the Case Annex, so I'm already there 5 days a week anyway for my honors courses. And they want to fill the position for full-time over the summer, too. "The hell, you say! I HAVE to move into an apartment this summer! How convenient is that?!"

I don't think I like my MWF classes much. Sure, I start at 12:20pm, but I don't get finished until 3:20pm. That means everyone's gone or in the process of leaving by then. ...Dude that just drove by had a British license plate on his car... Damn ADHD. Anyway, I feel like I get nothing accomplished on those days. By the time class is over, it's time to do homework and go to bed. (Yes, it takes me that long to do my homework. Damn busywork. Damn papers. Damn everything!)

I'll be finished completely with my study abroad class by Feb. 15th though! I guess I SHOULD get to crackin' on that!

:'(

I'm bored. I'm leaving. Bah!

It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.

2006-01-22T15:32:00.000-05:00

Okay, so there was this ice sculpture... over by the chapel... two swans on a base that said EKU... taller than me... and it was around 50 degrees outside... and I saw absolutely, positively no reason for it to be there WHATsoever as, when I came back a few hours later, it was still there... well, at least about 1/2 of it was still there...

Yeah, I don't get it, either.

Does anyone else hate the new AIM with the fire of a thousand suns?

Have I said this already?

Sometimes, life seems to be on repeat. And then I get freaked out when it finally skips itself out of the rut. That's where I am now. Nothing's changed, yet everything's different. Take my word for it. It's an extremely surreal and scary situation. People. Places. Things. You know. Nouns in general.

Cut my hair off again. Yup.

They finally set up the laptops in the library to access our W:/ drives! Okay, no one cares but me! (I'mma gonna work on some photos from my trip today! Fuck homework! WOOT!)

I'll post the url soon! HOORAY!

It's hard to remember it's hard to remember we're alive for the first time. It's hard to remember its hard to remember we're alive for the last time.

2006-01-19T14:15:00.000-05:00

Things learned after 3 days of classes:
1. Once a library rat, always a library rat.
2. Why look for people? Stand in the middle of campus and THEY'LL find YOU.
3. Old habits die hard.
4. You can't shoot butterflies with time capsules.
5. Nothing will ever be the same.

Yup, number one is being fulfilled RIGHT NOW. I'm taking a little blog break to make a quick post, then on to the shit-load of homework I have waiting in my little red bag.

Shit, I have to do laundry.

Shit, I have to write stuff.

Shit, I have to find a job.

SHIT!

...Here we go!

ramblings

2006-01-18T12:05:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I just logged into yahoo for the first time in EONS and I get this offline message from my lil sister,

"(1/13/2006 7:50:41 PM): HEY! Youre supposed to be my family!!! how bout some love in the hiz house?!?!"

...My God, that girl needs to live in my closet and keep my amused...

First class on MWF, 12:20pm. Not too shabby.

I'd forgotten how stupid people actually are until I ate lunch by myself and could do nothing but listen to them.

The fuzzy boots aren't amusing anymore. They're just downright annoying.

Maybe they've always just been annoying? Yeah... Probably.

Going to class feels odd. Some would jest it was because it was a practice that I am not accustomed to. But, in all seriousness, I think it feels like I haven't even been away from school all that long.

DAMMIT! I gotta start on my paper for my study abroad class.

First, Ig uess I should order the book. *L*

This is a title! Also called a subject! Or point of interest!

2006-01-17T14:17:00.000-05:00

Woke up this morning to a wonderfully dreary first day of classes. Yup, left the dorm at around 9 am and it's been raining ever since.

Left my umbrella in the Stratton Building all the fuck the way across campus. Was on the shuttle before I realized I'd left it. Didn't have time to return. So now I'm umbrella-less.

Found out that I have to talk to Dr. Gray to get my name back on the book list. Quite frankly, I don't want to do this as I do believe my gpa has slipped slightly below the minimum to keep my scholarship (I'm retaking 3 classes this semester, so I should be out of the "danger zone" from henceforth). I think my tuition scholarship slipped through the cracks and I don't want to risk losing THAT by bitching about books. The tuition part is much more substantial than the book part. I'll just talk to someone about helping me out with books instead.

Little miss burden that I am.

Still not in the mood to write of my travels. All of my pictures are on Daniel's laptop, anyway, and as my cell phone has ceased to work and I'm never in my room and Steph and Daniel are (assumably) never online, any attempt at contact would be virtually pointless. :(

Gonna go check on prices of books.

Toodles!

WHY IS NOTHING WORKING?!

2006-01-16T10:25:00.000-05:00

List of things that don't work properly:
- My honors books on loan account (though it says I still have it).
- My dorm phone. (The combination of
- My cell phone. these means NO phone.)
- My emails to the teacher of a class that I NEED to be in, but is closed.
- EVERY-FUCKING-THING IS CLOSED because it just HAPPENS to be Martin Luther King, Jr. day. (SON OF A BITCH)

I think I left my pants somewhere. This sounds REAL bad, but they could be in one of about 5 different places. I just realized I haven't seen them since Dublin. I'm real sad about them. They were a new pair, too!

I'm finding someone with a phone that WORKS and I'm ordering the Domino's pizza special thing. $3.94 for a large 1 topping, bitch! That'd feed me for DAYS!

Over and out.

KEBAB!

2006-01-15T18:34:00.000-05:00

...The American Embassy is sending me junk mail... WTF?

...What the hell is "Student Fin Aid Revolving Fund" and why am I paying $1,547 for it?

I HAVE TO GET A JOB!!!

By God, I'm only taking 13 hours again this semester. The two honors courses (humanities i and civ i) and PSY291 (fucking stats again). OH! And my study abroad class. I don't want to load myself down anymore! I'm going to take my dear, sweet time.

Wholly shite, man. This is my very first day back and in my dorms and I'm already working on a hellatious stress knot in my neck. And I'm spending like... and hour in the comp room. Wow. My social life is AWESOME.

I'll post some photos and write up some things about my travels tomorrow. Perhaps. Three country capital cities in three weeks. Not too shabby.

Classes start Tuesday and I still have to resolve registration for a couple.

BEH!

Toodles!!!

London's burning.

2006-01-06T08:52:00.000-05:00

Herm. Two more full days in London. It's funny, really. In most ways, that is FAR too long. In others, that's not long enough. More on that later.

I'm off to print some photos for our class presentation and to perhaps go to the Photographer's Gallery. I SHOULD go on the Eccentric London walk (as our class is the Psychology of Odd and Eccentric Behavior), but I guess I'll decide that on the way.

Toodles!

Dublin is the past. London is the future.

2005-12-30T12:29:00.000-05:00

Wow. We already leave Dublin tomorrow morning. We just got here and we already have to adjust to a new city. I DON'T WANNA!

I'll update with stories and such later. I'm just burning a cd with my pictures so I can clear my card for the next stop.

I'll HAVE to find a bigger card or something. I'm HIGHLY disappointed in my photos. HIGHLY. Now I remember why I don't trust the auto function.

Yep. Going to invest in a larger card.

runs about

2005-12-25T19:11:00.000-05:00

It's 7...something pm and I'm just now starting my paper for my study abroad class. I'm not used to wearing a wrist watch, but I generally use my cell phone for time telling purposes and I can't use that in the United Kingdom, so I was forced to buy one. I'm at my aunt's. I still have to figure out who's taking me to Cincinnati tomorrow to catch my plane. Mom just informed me that she didn't take care of that (like she said she would) about 10 minutes ago. She's not even here. I'm waiting to eat and for my mamaw to be ready to go (which will probably be at like... midnight). I still have to finish packing, sew and patch my favorite pants and jacket, and meet up with Daniel so that I may steal his digital camera. I just read in my syllabus that I needed one and mine has a rechargable battery. Whose power adapter won't fit in European plugs.

HAH! My little cousin just painted himself green and goes, "I'm trying to be the Hulk!" Damn, that kid's rotten. And there goes his dad. Egging him on. *L*

This time tomorrow, I'll be well on my way to Dublin, Ireland!

Where was I?

2005-12-23T00:49:00.000-05:00

Home. After spending a week hoboed up on Daniel and Stephanie's big orange couch.

It's already been quite interesting.

"I like a man in a furry hat."

I don't even remember what I wrote last! *L*

I leave Monday for Dublin! Dear God, it seems so unreal.

I was meaning to go to sleep real early today to try to get myself somewhat on a Dublin/London time schedule. As you see, at nearly 1 am, that didn't work out quite as well as planned.

I need to focus on writing this! I keep skipping to MSN and AIM and DE and... not writing this. *L*

I have to do SO much laundry tomorrow!

G'NITE!

And so the story goes...

2005-12-17T00:03:00.000-05:00

Finals week is over! Hoorah!

Wow. It went so fast.

...I would do ANYTHING for a philly cheesesteak sammich and clean clothes!

Which basically can be summed up as, "I would do anything to not be hungry and to not smell like butt!" Which also can be translated as, "I wish I weren't a hobo!"

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BRANDY AND BRANDI!

...And now to go commence to the not doing a damn thing for a while... Until the 26th. When I go to Dublin! Then to London the 31st! Then to Washington, D.C. the 10th!

Bah. It's going to be fun.

...the more we know, the more we know how much we don't know...

2005-12-14T20:05:00.000-05:00

Alrighty. Crying of Lot 49 by Thomas Pynchon. Quite wonderful if you like that postmodern, "nothing means a goddamned thing," obsessive search for truth shit.

But beware: the search for truth never, ever ends.

While reading some sparknotes for some books I'm unclear on, my eye kept wandering to the ad for greyhound. I found myself searching the prices of here to New York, here to Lake City, here to Albequerque. And then I noticed a new hole in my hoodie. WHY IS EVERYTHING I OWN FALLING APART?!?!?!?!?!

Well, back to smashing my head against the table. I mean studying for two finals I have tomorrow.

Wish me luck. I'll sure as hell need it.

"...You guys... Please tell me we watched something on tv about a badger in a cage..."

2005-12-12T14:06:00.000-05:00

Happy Fucking 21st Birthday to me!

Friday
- Berea at Jeanne's for some great good Christmas present food, super nintendo, and melting the largest amount of Appleby's crayons into the most beatiful ADHD art EVER! (Three people with various levels of ADD should not be allowed to play with lighters.)

Saturday - The Day of Infamy
- 12am - High-tailed it to Wincester where Kristin's dad bought 3 pitchers of Killian's for Daniel, Stephanie, Amanda, Kristin, Colin, himself, and me at some sketchy bar called Ted's. Needless to say I (and Stephanie) had the better part of them, as it was now officially my birthday and I'm pretty sure everyone was hell-bent on getting me loads of tipsy. (OH! Shot of Jager, too!)
- KING BUFFET!!! (Mmmmm... Chinese-y.) My fortune read something to the effect of, "Share your happiness with others today." It was quite fitting. I saved it, but I lost it. :(
- Appleby's to see Jeanne and Amanda! (The perfect margaritas are awesome!)
- Steph made me a birthday cake and they sang to me!!! It was damn good cake!
- The Paddy Wagon. Daniel, Stephanie, Danny, and Megs went with me, Colin, Jason, and William were already there just chilling. So many people made for so many shots. Megs bought me a Four Horsemen (which sounds extremely ominous... for good reason. Obviously, it was a mixture of Jack, Jim, Bob, Tom, and whoever else decided to turn whatever they had at the time into ethyl alcohol and name it after themselves). Danny bought me a Puerto Rican Monkey Fuck (yeah, you read that right) and a Redheaded Slut. William bought me a Jager Bomb and an Irish Car Bomb (the latter being my favorite of the night!). Played some pool. Left. Megs was in the damned liquor store buying stuff to make amaretto sours (I had 2 of them at her apartment). Got really sick (first time in the LONGEST of times). Obviously went back to Daniel and Stephanie's and had MORE rum. (Jeanne had stopped by after work, too!!! *HUGS HER FROM AFAR!)

Sunday
- Amanda and Bethy's graduation in Berea!!! (CONGRATULATIONS GUYS!!!) We were definitely freakin' late. To a graduation that was at THREE IN THE AFTERNOON. Man, Berea is screwed up. It's a hardcore Christian school. Their alma mater is the scariest of songs! Probably because it was backed by a damned organ. We expected the phantom of the opera to drop a few sandbags.
- Mmmm. Little Caesar's pizza pizza.
- Wash, rinse, repeat.

We had a wee little recap this morning before we went our separate ways. "You SHOULD have seen this show! The first scene we saw was of this fucked up mouse holding a corndog, walking in a FIELD of corndogs!" "...Guys... Please tell me we watched something about a badger in a cage..." "WOOP! Grass!" "Tell the turkey story!" "I'm SO facebooking that... (though I don't remember what the hell I said to make Megs say that.)" "It feels like we spent the entire weekend in the dryer." "...You have NO idea just how many places my glasses could be in right now..." (I lost my glasses and commented to Aaron, the desk worker, that they could be anywhere from Lancaster Ave. to the Paddy Wagon.)

I'm sure there's more to be said. But guess what? I'm going to crawl into MY OWN BED and go fucking comatose.

Ta!

"...you write such pretty words..."

2005-12-07T19:06:00.000-05:00

"but life's no storybook"

WHY IS EVERYONE FREAKIN' MOVING?! ALL the cool new people I met this semester are going somewhere other than here next semester. Bah. I have abandonment issues! :'(!!!

Floor meeting in 25 mins. Midnight breakfast at 10:30!!! I'm going to eat SO much food!

I sent out for my passport. FINALLY! Fucking overnighted it AND expedited it. Costed me an arm and a leg and I won't be eating much for the next few weeks, but that's finished with.

"snow glass apples, where nothing is what it seems"

"...life is unfair... kill yourself or get over it..."

2005-12-01T14:42:00.000-05:00

I've been listening to old mixed cds from high school lately. You know. When downloading was new and I was the cd bitch because I was the only one with cable internet. Seems I was much more bitter than I remember being in high school. Yeah, I know Bran and Steph are going to laugh their fucking asses off at that statement.

I got my favorite spot in the library today! ...This is great news seeing as how I probably won't be leaving until it closes at 1am!

Down side? I fucking lost my headphones. BOTH SETS. I'm fairly sure they're in my room somewhere. This means they may as well be deemed lost for forever.

SO! Come distract me if you can find me! I'll probably need it. :(

"..there's a paradox in every paradigm.."

2005-11-29T17:50:00.000-05:00

we only speak in metaphors and parables
a clever concoction of conundrums
our fortunes told by lines on our faces
etched by furrowed brows
instead of smiles

...cut me open and count my rings...
they're just a barrage of angry sanguine tail lights,
streetlamp constellations,
and white lines on the road that keep time to the music in our heads
"...you're either coming or you just left,
but you are always on the way..."

...our age in crumpled coffee cups,
expired ink pens,
worn soles,
and mumbling, "star light, star bright" under our breaths...

"Hey. That's not a star. It's just Mars."

"Well, damn. What a waste of time."
___

Surprisingly, I'm not really depressed or in a bad mood. I just felt like writing. I'm just sitting around in the library in a squishy chair with a white hot chocolate, thinking about doing my homework and I pulled out my notebook that has a bunch of lines that really aren't tied together very well and decided to pull out some twine. The only things I'm missing are my hoody, headphones (GAH!), and my favorite spot. WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS SLEEP IN MY SPOT?!?!

Bah. I should do my homework.

Toodles!

"...so she's got a soft spot for heels and spurs..."

2005-11-28T19:03:00.000-05:00

Wow, that line is so very true.

It was so wonderfully windy today.

I really want to fly a kite!

They found a couple of students dead in their dorm rooms recently. The first one was before Thanksgiving Break. I think that the second may be a rumor as I haven't seen anything concrete about it. Except the fact that my mom called me asking about it literally 2 seconds after I learned that the second one had been found today. That would be one helluva powerful rumor. All I know is that it's extremely odd.

What's with everyone getting sick or dying lately? That's pretty much all I heard about over break. My cousin's mother-in-law, a fireman that my family obviously knew, my aunt's husband's something's dad........ well, you get the point. Obviously not been a good beginning of the holidays for most people.

I think it's a conspiracy. A turkey conspiracy. It was all the turkey's fault!

By the way, where'd the time/date option go on the postey-thingy?

2005-11-25T15:10:00.000-05:00

What's the weather like today? 31 F. Which is fucking cold as hell.

What's it supposed to be Monday? High of 72 F with a 60% chance of scattered thunderstorms.

What about Wednesday? Partly cloudy, high 44 F.

WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?!

"...and you walk through your house without turning on lamps, sure of the angle from door to table, from table to staircase..."

2005-11-24T20:14:00.000-05:00

Ranna's computer clock trips me out. It's still set to San Diego time, so it's 3 hours slow.

I ate so much today. Until I was extremely uncomfortable. Then I laid around complaining until it didn't hurt anymore and did it all again!

I need to do laundry.

You know what's a neat word that just popped into my head? "Insignia."

I'm gonna go play with the puppies and watch tv!

Shae!

Homeward bound...

2005-11-21T22:24:00.000-05:00

...for Thanksgiving break. Tomorrow. Which makes me do this: :(

I get to house-sit for my aunt again, though! That makes me do this: :XD!

Hrm. Nothing more to report, I guess.

Shae!

I want SNOW, dammit!

2005-11-17T23:51:00.000-05:00

I wonder what would happen if we were to be snowed into our dorms?

Lesson of the week: some things are best left to themselves.

I remember my mamaw telling me after I put my tooth under the pillow not to lick the place where the tooth used to be and the new one would grow in gold. What was she thinking? That I could actually leave something well enough alone? Impossible.

We ate China today! The WHOLE country! Or at least it felt like it when we left King Buffet.

I really can't think of anything much more to say, so I'm going to stop procrastinating the studying of the psych and get to work.

Shae!

2005-11-15T21:44:00.000-05:00

Nights like tonight remind us that we're not really in control here. Torrents of rain, flashes of light, gusts of wind. That screeching weather siren isn't going to change anything. Huddling in the basement in droves isn't going to help anything. We just like to pretend that we have a handle on anything and everything that life throws at us. We just want to have a reason to name that new ulcer "Kansas."

No matter what you do, you're still life's bitch.

I just wanna go sit in it.

I'm going to check my email one more time (my psych syllabus says we have a test tomorrow, but I don't actually remember her saying anything about it BEING tomorrow) and go back to my room and do homework. I canNOT wait until this semester is over. Don't really know why I'm so anxious to get it over with. Just gotta do it all again next semester.

Ta-ta!
Shae!

"...you know its time to change when you're only wet bacause of the rain..."

2005-11-14T14:57:00.000-05:00

...And that's why I love Tori Amos...

...And, for the record, I'm fucking SOAKED... It's POURING the rain from above and a fire hydrant river was flowing from below. Some jackass must have thought it would be hilarious to send gallons and gallons of water rushing from the hydrant and across the road by McGregor. Now my I'm pretty much fucking SOAKED from head to toe.

I tell ya, there's a vast increase in the amount of scary people on campus. I swear!

I sat down here and had, in my mind, a reason to get back up and go somewhere in the library. Now, I honestly do not have any idea what I was supposed to do.

It always feels like there's something so much more important to say. To do.

I want to just sit in the rain. Is that crazy? And if it weren't so cold, I'd probably go puddle jumping.

Restless at best.

FUCK! My passport. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.

Get it together, Shae. Goddamnit.

I should start picking out names for my ulcers.

2005-11-13T15:28:00.000-05:00

Totally thought this ad on launchcast said "Kanye drops dead." And today was ALMOST a really good day, despite the fact that I have SO much freakin' work to do and it's raining like crazy.

SO! Here's my life right now.
Priorities:
1) Civ Paper Part 3 - Final Draft (due Monday)
2) Civ reading response (due Monday)
3) Humanities final draft (already REALLY overdue)
4) study for Humanities exam 3 (already REALLY overdue)
5) catch up on Huamnities reading for section 4 and reading response
6) PSY291 lab report (already REALLY overdue)
7) Study for PSY291 that I have Wednesday
8) Civ reading response (due Wednesday)

I have to have ALL of this done by TUESDAY because I'm going to a Bright Eyes concert in Louisville on Tuesday night!!!!!!!!!!!! (I probably shouldn't go, given the level of suck school has been lately and all, but... I've never been one for intelligent choices.)

Oh, well. Here we go!

Shae!

"...up up up up up up raises the stakes of the game. each day sinks its bootprint into her clay and she's not the same..."

2005-11-12T22:18:00.000-05:00

I REALLY need to stop listening to Ani's "Up Up Up Up Up Up" album. But I can't! It's so lyrically splendid!

"She says my sister still calls every Sunday night after the rates go down. And I still can never manage to say anything right."

VISIT MY SISTER'S AND BROTHER'S WEBSITES! Play close attention to their randomness and sarcasm (especially Sam, as her site is the more developed right now).

Well, I have to cut my entry short as Daniel and I are Jesus trekkin' to Taco Bell.

WOOT!

Shae!

"the one person who really knows me best
says i'm like a cat
yeah the kind of cat that you just can't pick up
and throw into your lap
no, the kind that doesn't mind being held
only when its her idea
yeah, the kind that feels what she decides to feel
when she is good and ready to feel it"

Sleep would be nice right about now.

2005-11-10T22:41:00.000-05:00

*sits silently in computer room* *suddenly hears a fairly high-pitched* "Niki! NIKI! NIKINIKINIKINIKINIKINIKI!" *blinks* I don't think I'd ever trade this dorm for any other.

DAMMIT, printer! I could have reset you faster than you can reset yourself! I just would have turned off your bitch ass! *punches it*

It was cold today. AND I HATE MY DAMNED SOCIAL DEVIANCE CLASS!!! The class is poorly organized, unstructured, redundant, and random. There's only three tests all year and his teaching style just... frustrates me to no end. He's so very superfluous in his information that you have NO idea what the hell is important. There's no study guides. Only a vague review the day before the exam. Then there's the material. Of course, the Sociology of Deviance IS RELATIVE. Understood. Check. But does it always have to be in the opinon of the teacher? And does said teacher have to WRITE THE TEXTBOOK YOU USE? (And poorly at that.) And does he have to be so biased against psychology, my major of choice? He called psychology a "Peter Pan" theory. "Clap if you believe." Because it's not based in science at all. *rolls eyes* He's so very arrogant. He throws about names and theories and his supposed unparalleled knowledge of the subject as if it were confetti on New Years Eve. And then we have questions on the test (85 multiple choice, 10 definitions, 5 essay questions worth 5pts each; 14 pages in all) like "A fish's head rots before its body, says Derber. True or false?"

So I changed my minor from criminology/deviance to international studies. Fuck this shit.

The end.

"Go ahead. Ask me if I care. I got the answer here, I wrote it down somewhere. I just gotta find it."

2005-11-09T21:09:00.000-05:00

Wow. I guess that's all I have to say. Wow.

Okay, that's rarely all I have to say.

"Fozzie Bear was an ASS!!!" *blinks*

You know, I really didn't/don't even know that kid. Hah.

JUST FUCKING PARK, VAN!!! You're NOT going to find a close spot to this damn dorm! And you're wasting who-knows-how-much gas!

SHIT! I forgot to go check on a job today. And email loads of people that I should have emailed.

So, I'm not sure if I'm floating on cloud nine or sitting in cell block six. I think its just that moment when you're blissfully oblivious to so many insane happenings that you just don't know what to think yet. That there's no algorithm that makes any sort of sense. And you really don't give a damn. "Throw up your hands and let destiny steer."

DAMMIT! The squeak of that van's steering wheel is really grating my nerves. He/She's seriously circled this area MORE THAN 20 times. I'm willing to bet.

I have a few things in the wash. I guess we'll just have to wait until the cycle's done to see if they're comfortable enough to wear.

In a less metaphorical sense, I found this fucking awesome coat at a local thrift store today. AND a hat to match! A friend of mine (LOVE YA SAM!) came in and let me borrow the cash until I got the monies back from my motherboard. I'm real excited!

You know, I still don't understand exactly how I got to this point. I'm still not quite sure how to define "this point." I'm just glad that maybe someone's taking me seriously this time around. Or, more true to the truth, I'm probably just deluding myself. I'm still trying to balance a teeter-totter all on my lonesome.

"I'm getting bold in my old age, so go ahead. Try the door. It doesn't matter anymore."

One glorious day!

2005-11-07T18:15:00.000-05:00

So. I started the day out right by fucking my ankle up on a damned pine cone. Don't laugh. It could happen to you. I KNEW it was about time for me to hurt myself, though. It had been far too long. I hadn't sprained my ankle since my very first semester of college.

My karma broker is just shuffling through worst case scenarios to find the perfect investments for all my inadvertently accrued bad karma. (I say inadvertently because I AM NOT A BAD PERSON!!! I PROMISE!!!)

Now I have "karma police" stuck in my head.

At any rate, then I learned something very valuable. Hang outside of Powell long enough and, like a stray puppy, people WILL feed you. (I'm so poor I don't even have money to get myself nourishment. Until I get the money back from my faulty motherboard. Speaking of, I should check my ebay account.)

Went to apply for my passport today and I forgot the card for my camera at the dorm. Got the damned camera, but left the fucking card. Bah. It wouldn't have mattered anyway because, for some reason unbeknownst (I just realized that I REALLY like that word) to myself, one may only apply for a passport between the times of 9-11am and 1-3pm. How ridiculous is that?

People on campus should play hide-and-seek more. Or people bingo. Hermits should be worth more points. People like me who wander about confused and aimless should be less points.

I say "more" like any people at all already play this shit.

THE DAY OF HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE GROWS NEAR!

...Now that I'm officially a fucking reject, I'm going to get to my homework...

WOOT,
Shae!

"..i'll trade you one for two nightmares of mine.."

2005-11-05T21:33:00.000-05:00

I CAN'T REMEMBER THE REST OF THE WORDS TO THIS SONG! It's driving me NUTS!

Waiting on some laundry to be done. I seriously think my most favorite thing in the world is clean laundry.

All I want this weekend is milk for my cherry cheerios and my tv remote.

...And my bed!

I'm tired and losing my patience for people. I feel like I've been running a marathon while juggling flaming howler monkeys and tap dancing every other step.

I burnt my finger on a super duper hot plate this morning. It feels weird. Like dead.

*disappears in a puff of smoke*

"'...if I had it my way,' she says, 'it'd be friday and we'd stay and dance til after the band packed their stuff away.'"

2005-11-04T18:08:00.000-05:00

"Connection lost."

How profound, Mr. msn2go!

Way to take my life and sum it all up into two little words!

HEY! A friend just called and there may be a very slight chance that we may go to King's Island this weekend!!! (Very slight being the operative words here.) It's enough to get me all excited and such!

The fortune cookie I got today says, "Maybe you can live on the moon in next century." I scotch taped it to my cell phone.

...Yes... Perhaps...

I need to do laundry SO badly! (I'm just killing time right now until Daniel and Stephanie get out of the University Writing Requirement shits.)

THEN! Midnight breakfast and maybe some photo-takin'!

Man, oh, man, I'mma eat me some gravy and biscuits, bitch!

Wow, my Dalai Lama bag is starting to incur a smell. Not only does it look like a hippie bag, it now SMELLS like a hippie bag! ROCK!

...I was going to post some photos from the drunkenness that commenced on Halloween, but I just realized how horrible they are... Do you REALLY know how hard it is to keep the attention of three drunk people with ADD on a camera?

Answer: Damn hard.

...come again?

2005-11-03T23:16:00.000-05:00

I woke up vaguely resembling Edward Scissorhands this morning. The goo stuff I put in my hair had it all fucked times nine and I forgot to wash off my makeup last night. Of course, the pale is a given.

Sometimes, when things are going extroadinarily well, I just like to make things complicated.

Shake things up a bit.

Things at home are hell on Earth. I must say I'm only minutely surprised. It's just something added that I did not need to worry about.

I'm so very powerless over everything. Like a dancer around a maypole. Just going through the motions. The same thing over and over. Skipping about with flowers braided into your hair, around, around, around, around until... you finally run out of ribbon. And that's the end. No fireworks. No fanfare. All you have to show for it is some damned pole with a fuckton of ribbon wound around it.

...Or memories that, as I type this, are hopelessly unwinding themselves...

"Oh, I've been crazy for quite some time now. I just have a spectacular poker face."

I should have taken pictures.

Don't listen to a damn thing I say.

2005-11-02T11:19:00.000-05:00

No matter how hard I try to convince you, it is NOT TUESDAY!

I missed classes because of this. Had my clock set for 10 because I thought it was Tuesday. I got all excited when I woke up at 8 this morning and reset my clock, thinking, "HELLS YES, I don't have class til 11!!!" And I KEEP thinking its Thursday. I don't think Wednesday exists in my little world full of pixie dust and people who don't lie.

I'm thinking real hard about going back to bed.

Au revoir!
Shae

"...wrapped around your feet... wrapped around like good little roses..."

2005-11-01T22:57:00.000-05:00

The word of the day, children, is "clusterfuck." Can YOU say "clusterfuck"?

"...do you gotta have a triple decker super fudge sundae with a goddamned cherry on top?"

2005-11-01T03:45:00.000-05:00

"You're a horrible actress, Shae. That's why you're a psychology major."

Alrighty, 3:45 am and my first drunken entry EVER ensues!

My hands are fucking numb. So is my face and the rest of my body. Except my eyes. My eyes are burny!

I have a test tomorrow. Surprised?

I'm thinking about asking for a makeup.

3:47.

I could fall asleep right here, right now.

What did I ever do to deserve such splendid friends?

You know who you are. Thank yourselves for me as I will probably never be quite this appreciative sober.

My favorite song of late:

Come Away - Ani Fucking Difranco

next to the glass ashtray
in a little plastic baggy
is a bitter rock remedy
really good stuff
but i take offense to the fact
that you're so hell bent
you try to tell me this world
just isn't beautiful enough?

do you wanna get off
is this your stop
do you gotta have a triple decker super fudge sundae
with a goddam cherry on top

i mean, what makes you so lavish that you can afford
to spend ever sober moment feeling angry and bored

why won't you come
come away from
come away from it
why

why won't you come
come away from

we used to hold hands down
those unfamiliar streets
you used to take me diving
into the watery blue deep
but now you're trying to find every tiny treasure
every shiny penny of pleasure
satisfy every selfish purpose
before you swim back up to the surface

why won't you come
come away from
come away from it

why won't you come
come away from
come away from it
why

and you think that i just don't like it anymore
but i'll tell you what i don't like
i don't like that i have to put the training wheels back on your bike
and i don't like the extravagance
or the way you taste when i kiss you
i don't like being left alone
baby don't you think i miss you

why won't you come
come away from
come away from it
why

come away from
come away from it
why won't you come
come away from
come away from it

*end transmisison*

There's mumbling coming from the other room.

I don't want to go to bed. Ever. I don't want to miss anything. Ever. Good or bad. I want to revel in it all. I want to find all these keys, drunk or sober. I want everything to absorb in my head. I want everything to express itself the best way possible in my head. I just want... everything all at once. Overwhelmingly. So I don't know how to make sense of it all. So I don't even want to try. Anymore. So I don't even want to fucking try.

It's all so much better than nothing.

I'm gonna find my drunken slumber.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
Shae!

"postmodern sleaze"

2005-10-28T15:36:00.000-04:00

I'm torn between sitting in my room, watching tv and walking around taking pictures for the first time in EONS. If I had anything remotely resembling a concept for a photo, I'd go with the latter, but my immense laziness (which just hit me) is overriding my want to walk around for a while.

It also looks like its going to rain.

I am also more a fan of night photos.

I'm staring out the window while I'm writing this and I keep seeing cars that look like mine. Same make and model, same color. I WANT MY CAR BACK, GOD DAMMIT!

Got my birth certificate. I gotta send back my motherboard so I can get my passport. I really hope that I get my passport before December 26th, otherwise, well, I don't get to go.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF!!! THERE'S NOTHING TO DO! (Well, there is, but nothing exactly pressing at the moment.)

I want to watch Disney movies all weekend! With popcorn! And red kool-aid!

I've never understood term "postmodern". Post: "after : subsequent : later." Modern: "of, relating to, or characteristic of the present or the immediate past : CONTEMPORARY." Ergo, POSTMODERNISM IS NOT POSSIBLE. Unless you time travel. It wouldn't even work then because the time that you are currently occupying then becomes "modern" to you. So "postmodern" is NOT aptly named. Who the fuck allows people to name things?

Great, now I have "Postmodern Sleaze" by Sneakerpimps stuck in my head.

circus girl without a safety net

what a crock o' bull

Ode to the Aussie Friend

The eternal, burning question...

Back to the rat race.

Neurotic.

When will anyone learn?

In my opinion...

How I woke up this morning...

bumper stickers = what?

Lesson of the Day:

The kitty says, "SIEG HEIL!"

Q: What smells like ass?

Things that suck like woah on fall break:

In today's news:

bits and pieces, here and there

I like lazy days!

I like lazy days!

my brain's on fire

Once upon a time...

Hey, idiot. Slow down.

Why can't it stop raining?

Hair Dye and Lullabyes

KITTIES! PUPPIES! Get them HERE! :XD

It's really sad...

Cat, I'm a kitty cat! And I dance dance dance and I dance dance dance!

days like today make me wish i had graduated already

daydreaming

Estoy una abuela.

...and when i press the keys, they all get reversed...

They're all running from air sharks.

WTF?

purloined in petrograd

last night i had that strange dream where everything was exactly how it seemed

"...don't barrage me with questions to all those ugly answers..."

sweet like candy to my soul

all the streets here run in circles

The Definition of Duly

"...A moving target in a firing range..."

...Yup...

Do you have an opinion? A mind of your own?

Shit that happens!

Who's up for a good seizure?

"How many times undone can one person be?"

...Sleep deprivation at its very best...

Old ground.

"This pillow stuffing tastes like imchoking!"

"Drink up, it's last call, last resort."

"But it all boils down to one quotable phrase..."

...just another line in a song...

"So go ahead. Try the door. It doesn't matter anymore."

Life in blur-o-vision!

You know...

Happy "Today Doesn't Actually Exist" Day!

"A man in the park read the lines in my hand told me I'm strong hardly ever wrong I said"

For the record...

I would like to acquire...

You are a kitten stuck up in a tree.

Yoga hurts.

Piss and Vinegar

Well, I'll be damned.

An update from your friendly neighborhood hermit.

LOOKIT!

Here I am expecting just a little bit too much from the wounded.

It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.

It's hard to remember it's hard to remember we're alive for the first time. It's hard to remember its hard to remember we're alive for the last time.

ramblings

This is a title! Also called a subject! Or point of interest!

WHY IS NOTHING WORKING?!

KEBAB!

London's burning.

Dublin is the past. London is the future.

*runs about*

Where was I?

And so the story goes...

...the more we know, the more we know how much we don't know...

"...You guys... Please tell me we watched something on tv about a badger in a cage..."

"...you write such pretty words..."

"...life is unfair... kill yourself or get over it..."

"..there's a paradox in every paradigm.."

runs about